Still behind schedule

Wednesday, the 5th of August

I finished the second book yesterday and started the third and last one today. H said that it's the best of the three. I'm much looking forward to finding out if she was right.

A second night in the row not sleeping enough. It's too hot in the apartment and the crew fixing the house started their work way too early for me. I'm so glad I've been gone for the summer. I have nice new windows now and the building will get an entirely new look in the next few months, but it's noisy. And messy. There in the city. S and I drove to Saimaa, to the parentals, for the rest of the week. No noise here.

I'm having withdrawal symptoms. Well, not really, but I miss the forum. Truly. I hardly ever start threads, but I decided to do that for once. If there aren't enough threads to my liking one can do something about that, right? I wasn't sure anyone would answer, but it was a smashing success. Pleased me enormously. The discussion which has mostly kept me awake though has centered around religion. I've talked for the first time in my life to a person who believes in creationism. A fundamentalist of a sort. It's thoroughly odd. The conversation is odd - partly because he's a very competitive soul and just likes to win arguments, but also partly because he refuses to acknowledge any basic rules of scientific argumentation. Which is why we will never ever get anywhere of course, but I'm looking forward to finding out if I can understand at all how someone smart can believe the way he does. The stupid thing is that I feel a little like someone who has just come across an alien. It is not often that one gets to talk to somebody who has such a different view of the world. Which is probably thoroughly my own fault. His views on politics are the total opposite of mine too, but I'm staying out of that discussion. Religious discussion on this level is still rather abstract, but politics are deadly business. US politics anyway. It's hard to take lightly decisions and policies, which get hundreds of thousands of people killed. Yep, Finland has its drawbacks - like the stupid weather - but in some regards this is also a very good country.

Thursday, the 6th of August

We have a storm. It's raining little grannies out there. The trees are dancing, dancing, dancing. And singing.

It came out of nowhere. I was just sitting outside a few minutes ago. Reading Larsson's third book as the sun went to hide behind the clouds. I read a few moments more, thought that I don't like cold and went inside. And then suddenly this storm came out of nowhere and the trees are dancing and the rain is singing. Drumming against the roof.

The parentals are down by the lake at the old cottage. With some guests from their church. I had some coffee with them, but since I'm an atheist pagan I didn't stay for any talks. Plus I'm horrible with people. With general chit-chat and small talk. So I went out, found a sunny spot where the wind wasn't too hard and continued with Larsson. And then the storm came.

I like storms. I like the strength and the violence of them. I like the stormy lake and how the tree tops go around and around and around and how the rain hits against the windows. The horizon becomes all gray and I can't see the islands anymore. This is not a thunderstorm, but those are even better. Mother Nature in all her glorious fury. Makes me feel alive.

And now it's dying down. it was just a brief beautiful moment. A much needed one since I was getting all restless again. Because of work mostly. The idea of going back to the dissy next week does not appeal to me. Not at all. However reading the appeals was fun. The only time I've felt like I would enjoy lawyering is when I've been writing the replies to those appeals. Which was two years ago when I did this for the first time. I like reading their arguments and then coming up with my own to tell them why they are all wrong and they are not getting any extra points. Some of them let the matter rest after that and some take the appeal further to the courts. Poor buggers - wasting their time and money. Usually none of them win and even if they do, it will be spring already and it would have been much smarter for them to just try again next year. It doesn't matter to me whether they win or lose, but it matters to the university. I just enjoy writing the replies.

One of them buggers was a very handsome bugger too. I saw him drop off the appeal on Tuesday. Well, a year to think things over can be a very good thing. I'm hoping now that I wouldn't have gotten in on the first try. My alternative plan was to go work as an au-pair somewhere abroad. In the long run that would have been a good thing. I would have got to see the world, would have matured a little and perhaps realized already then that law is not for me. Well, too late now.

The sun is shining again. It's August and the autumn is just around the corner so I must go enjoy the sun while it lasts.