I’m feeling a touch unimaginative right now. What should I write about? Should I write about anything, if I don’t really have anything to say? This, you see, hasn’t really been what you would call the most eventful of days. Stayed home to work, but honestly said I have had more productive days than this.
I drew mindmaps and decided to incorporate the appeal-part into the other two chapters. Now I’m starting have doubts again, though. But the thing is that it is either doing it really properly or being done in an approximately decent time. If I do it properly it will take far more than a year. Damn, I am such a slow thinker. I should have been at this point already two-three years ago. But I wasn’t and now the dissertation isn’t going to end up being anywhere near as good as it could have been. But I think I’ll forgive myself.
I did get something written today as well, but only fiction. I always talk about writing, but I don’t write nearly as much as I should. I was planning to start writing a real proper story with characters and a plot. I did actually manage to create the characters and write short character-descriptions, but what happens when I start writing the story? It’s the same pseudo-intellectual crap that I always write. “There are people, who are, and people, who wish to be.” Now is that anyway to start a story.
Let me give you a better example of some of the old stuff. Translation to English, since sometimes I do actually write in Finnish too: “Does thought matter? Thinking? We contemplate matters and connect consequences to reasons, but can we say why we do it. If we get no joy out of it, is there any reason to torture one’s brain cells. They claim that the human race has to go forward – to progress – but I wish to shake them and scream “why?” Progress does not make us happy and what use is there of knowledge and material possessions, if our minds have withered.”
Okay, it’s not all like that and maybe – if I can control myself – I can really turn it into a story. Something that sounds like a novel. With a plot. Or maybe I could combine the two. Hey, the beginnings of a new idea for a story. Can you tell that if I won the lottery, this is what I’d be doing.
marraskuuta 16, 2005
marraskuuta 15, 2005
One November evening
The PBL-course started yesterday and it went surprisingly well. The students didn’t really know all that much about legal history, but they managed to analyse the text much better than I had expected. But I got to tell you that they looked soooo young. That kind of made me realise that I’m not twenty anymore, but I rather liked the feeling.
Today I stayed home again to work. I managed to read a book and at long last write something too. All this teaching and going through the archive records has had the unfortunate consequence, that I haven’t had the time/energy to read and write that much. But now I intend to correct the matter.
I’m staying home tomorrow as well, but then I have to figure out where I’m at with my dissertation. I’m having a meeting with P on Thursday and I need to tell her what I’ve been doing and what I am planning to do. And I’m still uncertain of chapter three. I’ve always been uncertain of chapter three: the part about appeal. What is it exactly that I want of appeal? Do I need it as a separate chapter in the first place or would the whole book make more sense, if I tied the questions concerning the appeal to the other chapters? That’s what I will try to figure out tomorrow.
I haven’t been sitting on the couch the entire day, but did go to town too. Jaakko Hämeen-Anttila was talking about his research in the post-graduate seminar of legal history today – mostly about pagans in the 7th to 10th century Iraq. He’s a very fine speaker. Did you for instance know that Hammurab’s law wasn’t meant primarily as a code to be applied in practise, but was instead a letter of the king to the gods? Just one piece of interesting information learned today.
I also received a letter from S today. It’s strange how she can know me so well, even though we’ve never met. She pointed out something about me that I realise is very true; I just don’t know for sure what it means. I am hoping that this will again be a case of “recognising and admitting one’s weirdnesses is the first step to overcoming them”. Not that one needs to overcome all of one’s weirdnesses; some of them are pleasurable, but this one is not. But S, if you should be reading this, thank you for being my personal therapist. You’ve made me realise that it is not necessary to be perfect to be liked and accepted, that it is okay to make mistakes and to be “strange” and that it is very important to learn to trust people. I would never be writing this journal without you.
And I guess I ought to thank L and H, too. And ultimately of course Rammstein and Till. And a weird horoscope I read at my sister’s birthday party in February, which told me that if I would have the courage to make a big decision in the next couple of weeks I would be thankful for it later. I’m too much of a rationalist to really have faith in horoscopes, but this one did cause me to make the other one of those big February decisions. The less important one, but still. I really am feeling quite happy about life right now.
And I sound like an idiot. No, I don’t sound like an idiot. My brains do tell me that I sound ever so slightly mushy and irrational though. But that’s okay. I’m embracing my weirdness today. I think I better go and post this before I’ll end up deleting every word.
Today I stayed home again to work. I managed to read a book and at long last write something too. All this teaching and going through the archive records has had the unfortunate consequence, that I haven’t had the time/energy to read and write that much. But now I intend to correct the matter.
I’m staying home tomorrow as well, but then I have to figure out where I’m at with my dissertation. I’m having a meeting with P on Thursday and I need to tell her what I’ve been doing and what I am planning to do. And I’m still uncertain of chapter three. I’ve always been uncertain of chapter three: the part about appeal. What is it exactly that I want of appeal? Do I need it as a separate chapter in the first place or would the whole book make more sense, if I tied the questions concerning the appeal to the other chapters? That’s what I will try to figure out tomorrow.
I haven’t been sitting on the couch the entire day, but did go to town too. Jaakko Hämeen-Anttila was talking about his research in the post-graduate seminar of legal history today – mostly about pagans in the 7th to 10th century Iraq. He’s a very fine speaker. Did you for instance know that Hammurab’s law wasn’t meant primarily as a code to be applied in practise, but was instead a letter of the king to the gods? Just one piece of interesting information learned today.
I also received a letter from S today. It’s strange how she can know me so well, even though we’ve never met. She pointed out something about me that I realise is very true; I just don’t know for sure what it means. I am hoping that this will again be a case of “recognising and admitting one’s weirdnesses is the first step to overcoming them”. Not that one needs to overcome all of one’s weirdnesses; some of them are pleasurable, but this one is not. But S, if you should be reading this, thank you for being my personal therapist. You’ve made me realise that it is not necessary to be perfect to be liked and accepted, that it is okay to make mistakes and to be “strange” and that it is very important to learn to trust people. I would never be writing this journal without you.
And I guess I ought to thank L and H, too. And ultimately of course Rammstein and Till. And a weird horoscope I read at my sister’s birthday party in February, which told me that if I would have the courage to make a big decision in the next couple of weeks I would be thankful for it later. I’m too much of a rationalist to really have faith in horoscopes, but this one did cause me to make the other one of those big February decisions. The less important one, but still. I really am feeling quite happy about life right now.
And I sound like an idiot. No, I don’t sound like an idiot. My brains do tell me that I sound ever so slightly mushy and irrational though. But that’s okay. I’m embracing my weirdness today. I think I better go and post this before I’ll end up deleting every word.
marraskuuta 13, 2005
Father's day
It's Father's day today.
What did I do on a Father's day?
I made a cake - a mango cheesecake. It's easy and fast to make - or at least it would be fast if one didn't check the web every other minute. But I managed to eventually get it done. Then I listened to some Rosenrot and did the dishes, checked the forum, cleaned up the house, checked the forum, cleared up the balcony, checked the forum, read the paper, checked the forum, finally managed to begin reading Fulbrook's "Historical Theory" and checked the forum.
By then it was 4.30 and E arrived with Viennetta and a Saint-paulia (also known as African Violet apparently; thank you again google for enlightening me). I like flowers. The others arrived half an hour later - with Viennetta and a bottle of red wine. Hi-ha, I have to remember to start taking something to people when going over. It's nice when people come bearing gifts (except the Greeks I suppose...). Now don't look at me like that. I know it's common courtesy to bring something with you, but we haven't been in the habit of doing it every time. We...wait a moment, I'm going to go and light the candles on the window sill...ok, now that's done. Hm, I think I have to turn off some of the lights or that was absolutely pointless. Nice. Candles are a very nice thing about autumn. What was I saying? Oh, who cares.
We had a very nice dinner. The cat was hiding in the closet on top of the linen the entire time, since Maija was running around the house. People must think that the cat is invisible since she always disappears as soon as someone comes around. And yet she does like company. To a certain degree she does follow me around and every night she settles to sleep either on top of my back or nestled close to my feet. She's playing with a ball of yarn now like a cat that she is.
This was a good day. I'm tired again, but that's good too. I will still listen to these few songs, check the forum one more time and then go to bed and read a little. Or maybe finish my japanese puzzle. Yup, that's a plan.
Happy Father's Day!
What did I do on a Father's day?
I made a cake - a mango cheesecake. It's easy and fast to make - or at least it would be fast if one didn't check the web every other minute. But I managed to eventually get it done. Then I listened to some Rosenrot and did the dishes, checked the forum, cleaned up the house, checked the forum, cleared up the balcony, checked the forum, read the paper, checked the forum, finally managed to begin reading Fulbrook's "Historical Theory" and checked the forum.
By then it was 4.30 and E arrived with Viennetta and a Saint-paulia (also known as African Violet apparently; thank you again google for enlightening me). I like flowers. The others arrived half an hour later - with Viennetta and a bottle of red wine. Hi-ha, I have to remember to start taking something to people when going over. It's nice when people come bearing gifts (except the Greeks I suppose...). Now don't look at me like that. I know it's common courtesy to bring something with you, but we haven't been in the habit of doing it every time. We...wait a moment, I'm going to go and light the candles on the window sill...ok, now that's done. Hm, I think I have to turn off some of the lights or that was absolutely pointless. Nice. Candles are a very nice thing about autumn. What was I saying? Oh, who cares.
We had a very nice dinner. The cat was hiding in the closet on top of the linen the entire time, since Maija was running around the house. People must think that the cat is invisible since she always disappears as soon as someone comes around. And yet she does like company. To a certain degree she does follow me around and every night she settles to sleep either on top of my back or nestled close to my feet. She's playing with a ball of yarn now like a cat that she is.
This was a good day. I'm tired again, but that's good too. I will still listen to these few songs, check the forum one more time and then go to bed and read a little. Or maybe finish my japanese puzzle. Yup, that's a plan.
Happy Father's Day!
marraskuuta 12, 2005
The Day of Legal Culture
It has been a long day. The Finnish Lawyers' Association had their annual "Day of Legal Culture" today. It started at 13.00 and I ended up being home at midnight. "What?" you ask, "Now that must have been some marathon of presentations." It wasn't. The official program was over at about five, after which there was still a cocktail happening.
The theme of the day was Legal Science and the expectations of the Legal Community. Five presentations, some of them by very good speakers, then a panel, giving out the awards and scholarships, speeches by the two awardees and then a meeting of the Association. All in all it was a much better success than I had originally thought; it also turned out to be definitely worth it to stay for the cocktails. I met some people I hadn't seen in ages, which was very much fun. I met some new people, which was even more fun.
One of the new people and other of the evenings awardees asked me to come have dinner with him, his daughter J and AS. He called me "madame" ;-) I hadn't realised J was his daughter, even though they of course have the same last name. She remembered me, which surprised me a little. It surprised - and delighted - me even more that AS had heard of me. "Only good things," she said. Feeling quite, quite happy about meeting her. She was very easy to talk to, as was J.
I did end up going to dinner with them, to Kosmos, where I had actually never been before. I'm very glad that I did, since it turned out to be a very good night. I don't know if I dare to call it one of the best I've had. We talked of law and history and justice and a dozen other things and I really felt like I was part of the discussion. Well, also listened to J and her father carry on some excellent debate, but still... That is what an evening should be like. AS told me I ought to come to the dinner after the OYY-seminar in two weeks too. The dead-line for registering was already earlier this week, but she thought it should be no problem. I think I will write to their secretary on Monday and see if it would be possible to go.
Yep, but now I'm home and getting quite tired. It's 1.20 and I've been writing this now for forty minutes. Argh. The rose K gave me is in water. He got one of the smaller scholarships and didn't want the rose, so your's truly took it home. It's big, red and beautiful and no worse for wear even if it stood through whole dinner. The cat is restless, the moon is lopsided and looks as if it's about to fall through the clouds, I'm feeling tired and happy and in need of doing some thinking because of tonight. I think I'm figuring out one or two things more of what I really want. That's good.
Yaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn.
Alright, no more thinking before morning. Good night!
The theme of the day was Legal Science and the expectations of the Legal Community. Five presentations, some of them by very good speakers, then a panel, giving out the awards and scholarships, speeches by the two awardees and then a meeting of the Association. All in all it was a much better success than I had originally thought; it also turned out to be definitely worth it to stay for the cocktails. I met some people I hadn't seen in ages, which was very much fun. I met some new people, which was even more fun.
One of the new people and other of the evenings awardees asked me to come have dinner with him, his daughter J and AS. He called me "madame" ;-) I hadn't realised J was his daughter, even though they of course have the same last name. She remembered me, which surprised me a little. It surprised - and delighted - me even more that AS had heard of me. "Only good things," she said. Feeling quite, quite happy about meeting her. She was very easy to talk to, as was J.
I did end up going to dinner with them, to Kosmos, where I had actually never been before. I'm very glad that I did, since it turned out to be a very good night. I don't know if I dare to call it one of the best I've had. We talked of law and history and justice and a dozen other things and I really felt like I was part of the discussion. Well, also listened to J and her father carry on some excellent debate, but still... That is what an evening should be like. AS told me I ought to come to the dinner after the OYY-seminar in two weeks too. The dead-line for registering was already earlier this week, but she thought it should be no problem. I think I will write to their secretary on Monday and see if it would be possible to go.
Yep, but now I'm home and getting quite tired. It's 1.20 and I've been writing this now for forty minutes. Argh. The rose K gave me is in water. He got one of the smaller scholarships and didn't want the rose, so your's truly took it home. It's big, red and beautiful and no worse for wear even if it stood through whole dinner. The cat is restless, the moon is lopsided and looks as if it's about to fall through the clouds, I'm feeling tired and happy and in need of doing some thinking because of tonight. I think I'm figuring out one or two things more of what I really want. That's good.
Yaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn.
Alright, no more thinking before morning. Good night!
marraskuuta 10, 2005
a, b, c, d, sing with me...
It's 10.30. How can it be 10.30? It was six o'clock only a minute ago. And why on earth am I still working? I stayed home today to finish the first case for next week's PBL-course (that's Problem Based Learning for those who wish to learn yet another abbreviation). Hah, this is the fourth course I'm teaching this fall. No matter, I like teaching - especially courses like this. Yup, but I read the book, which took nearly seven hours and now - admittedly amidst some heavy net-surfing - I have tried to write the case. I'm only half-done and I can't write another word anymore. Have to finish it Saturday, because tomorrow is another busy day.
From now on I think I am going to start working at home at least two days a week. I get so much more done this way.
Brains have short-circuited again. Cannot think anymore. Yeah, I better just clickety-click the "publish" button.
From now on I think I am going to start working at home at least two days a week. I get so much more done this way.
Brains have short-circuited again. Cannot think anymore. Yeah, I better just clickety-click the "publish" button.
marraskuuta 09, 2005
Ordinary great day
Isn't it strange how by contemplation and recording things we create meanings and emotions? And by that I actually mean that "I love my blog!" ;-) Today has been basically an ordinary day, which without my blog would have got lost in the midst of all the other ordinary days. But by writing down all the good little things that happened today I realise that my ordinary day was actually a bloody good day.
I woke up without the alarm clock going off. Not because I got up so early, but because now for three days I haven't been setting my alarm clock. Yes, I am actually trying this. Hasn't made a huge difference yet, since I have gotten up every morning just a bit after seven. After I have woken up during the night to check the clock at two and five and six and... Nasty conscience. Last night I woke up only once, which is pretty much normal anyway.
I read the paper, caught the train to town, but didn't go all the way to the centre. I hopped off already at Pasila and walked to work from there. About 45 minutes walk and quite a bit of it is through the park along the Töölönlahti bay. The swans are still here! And look at that: someone had given the stonesnake horns! Or are they antennae? If I ever write a fantasy-book and it has a stonesnake who desperately wants the biggest horns in the universe, you know where that idea came from.
Work was work, but I had lunch with H. That was fun. And then I checked my blog and got the best compliment of my life. Yay and a double-yay. That made me happy. A happy little bunny. One never knows how other people see you.
We also had the meeting of our legal historical Matthias Calonius -society. I was the secretary of the society for two years, but now luckily only in the board. We gave out our third Legal Historian of the Year -award and got to hear a presentation about legal history and legal language. Does adopting a certain kind of legal language, legal terminology, mean adopting a certain type of legal thinking as well? Quite interesting.
After the meeting we went to have a drink in our usual place. Little Mikael was there for awhile and I contemplated again whether it would be fun to have a baby of one's own. Mikael was adorable anyway. I don't think I'll start with babies anymore tonight, since that is a one loooooong topic.
Ok, I think I'll watch the movie now. Or try to find out if the stonesnake wants to talk to me.
I woke up without the alarm clock going off. Not because I got up so early, but because now for three days I haven't been setting my alarm clock. Yes, I am actually trying this. Hasn't made a huge difference yet, since I have gotten up every morning just a bit after seven. After I have woken up during the night to check the clock at two and five and six and... Nasty conscience. Last night I woke up only once, which is pretty much normal anyway.
I read the paper, caught the train to town, but didn't go all the way to the centre. I hopped off already at Pasila and walked to work from there. About 45 minutes walk and quite a bit of it is through the park along the Töölönlahti bay. The swans are still here! And look at that: someone had given the stonesnake horns! Or are they antennae? If I ever write a fantasy-book and it has a stonesnake who desperately wants the biggest horns in the universe, you know where that idea came from.
Work was work, but I had lunch with H. That was fun. And then I checked my blog and got the best compliment of my life. Yay and a double-yay. That made me happy. A happy little bunny. One never knows how other people see you.
We also had the meeting of our legal historical Matthias Calonius -society. I was the secretary of the society for two years, but now luckily only in the board. We gave out our third Legal Historian of the Year -award and got to hear a presentation about legal history and legal language. Does adopting a certain kind of legal language, legal terminology, mean adopting a certain type of legal thinking as well? Quite interesting.
After the meeting we went to have a drink in our usual place. Little Mikael was there for awhile and I contemplated again whether it would be fun to have a baby of one's own. Mikael was adorable anyway. I don't think I'll start with babies anymore tonight, since that is a one loooooong topic.
Ok, I think I'll watch the movie now. Or try to find out if the stonesnake wants to talk to me.
marraskuuta 08, 2005
Languages
Have you ever thought about how using a particular language affects the way you think and express yourself? English for me is a "light" language, sometimes even a touch superficial. Like the word "love": when in English one uses the word love, it doesn't necessarily mean that you would actually love something or someone. It means excitement, liking something a lot, but not necessarily, not even most of the times "rakastaa". When you use the word "I love" in Finnish - minä rakastan - you really do mean love. And perhaps that is why love is so much scarcer here.
The same goes for many other emotions. Vihata is stronger than hate; Finnish curses have power in them that the English ones can never reach.
But English is also a witty language; it laughs, teases, floats and dances like a insubstantial fairy in the air. It flows unlike Finnish. Finnish has hard edges, angles, long blunt words which topple on top of each other without mercy. Swedish is playful - in Swedish you can hear the sound of the sea, soft gentle sea, light laughter on a summer day and the sound of little children - babes with golden locks - playing on a meadow full of poppies and forget-me-nots. And the giggling of little mischievous trolls. In German I can sometimes hear the passage of time - the echo of some of the words takes me back two thousand years and I can smell the earth and something, almost magical in the air. It's a strong feeling, emotional.
I wish I knew languages better. To be able to speak German and Swedish properly. To know other languages well enough to feel them.
Well, maybe someday.
The same goes for many other emotions. Vihata is stronger than hate; Finnish curses have power in them that the English ones can never reach.
But English is also a witty language; it laughs, teases, floats and dances like a insubstantial fairy in the air. It flows unlike Finnish. Finnish has hard edges, angles, long blunt words which topple on top of each other without mercy. Swedish is playful - in Swedish you can hear the sound of the sea, soft gentle sea, light laughter on a summer day and the sound of little children - babes with golden locks - playing on a meadow full of poppies and forget-me-nots. And the giggling of little mischievous trolls. In German I can sometimes hear the passage of time - the echo of some of the words takes me back two thousand years and I can smell the earth and something, almost magical in the air. It's a strong feeling, emotional.
I wish I knew languages better. To be able to speak German and Swedish properly. To know other languages well enough to feel them.
Well, maybe someday.
marraskuuta 07, 2005
Looking horrid
Oh frigging f**k, M sent some of her pictures from Brussels and I had to, absolutely had to gasp in the most girly manner and utter the words “OMG, I look hideous!”. Seriously, it was like looking at a big lump of overgrown white dough. So much for looking pretty for that trip. I can look good at times. ::points to the pic on the right:: I like that pic, I do look good in it – in my personal humble opinion – I mean why do you think I chose to put it up in the first place. Taken in September btw and not in some distant long lost past. But the Brussels pictures – OMT and all the other deities!
I think it is time to lose a couple of kilos again – and damn, here I was thinking of baking today. And perhaps dip into the purse and head to the hairdressers. I guess one could do that once a year. No, I’m not kidding. Please don’t scream, I have long hair, it’s quite possible to make it look decent even without cutting it all the time. Once a year is plenty; once in five years could be said to be questionable. Whaaaat, really, there is nothing wrong with looking like a barefooted nature girl. But looking like an overfed vampire in a bun that aunt-Prudence could have worn in 1880 is not the most attractive of things.
Do I sound just a touch shallow? Yes, I do. I know. But looking decent is a self-esteem question. It really is, as horrid as it sounds. Have I told you of my childhood? When I was little I had warts – yes, I guess you could call them warts, or moles? – on my hands and a one teeny tiny one on my nose. The ones on my hands disappeared eventually by themselves, but the tiny one on my nose was removed in a hospital. I was then either on first or second grade, I don’t remember exactly. But I do remember that after the removal of the wart the girls in my class would play with me; that one of them said afterwards that she didn’t want to be my friend before – because of the tiny wart. So you can tell me it doesn’t matter how a person looks, but I learned it a long time ago: no-one wants to play with you if you look horrid.
I think it is time to lose a couple of kilos again – and damn, here I was thinking of baking today. And perhaps dip into the purse and head to the hairdressers. I guess one could do that once a year. No, I’m not kidding. Please don’t scream, I have long hair, it’s quite possible to make it look decent even without cutting it all the time. Once a year is plenty; once in five years could be said to be questionable. Whaaaat, really, there is nothing wrong with looking like a barefooted nature girl. But looking like an overfed vampire in a bun that aunt-Prudence could have worn in 1880 is not the most attractive of things.
Do I sound just a touch shallow? Yes, I do. I know. But looking decent is a self-esteem question. It really is, as horrid as it sounds. Have I told you of my childhood? When I was little I had warts – yes, I guess you could call them warts, or moles? – on my hands and a one teeny tiny one on my nose. The ones on my hands disappeared eventually by themselves, but the tiny one on my nose was removed in a hospital. I was then either on first or second grade, I don’t remember exactly. But I do remember that after the removal of the wart the girls in my class would play with me; that one of them said afterwards that she didn’t want to be my friend before – because of the tiny wart. So you can tell me it doesn’t matter how a person looks, but I learned it a long time ago: no-one wants to play with you if you look horrid.
marraskuuta 06, 2005
she cleans, she reads
I really was tired yesterday, since this morning the alarm clock greeted me with the numbers 11.11 on its face. I can't remember the last time when I've slept past 11. But that's the reason why I haven't yet forgotten my alarm clock and gone to living according to my "natural rhythm". It's very relaxing to sleep as long as one likes, but nine and a half hours instead of seven per night means two and a half hours "wasted" every day. I don't know if I am quite willing to do that.
So what did I do today except sleep? I spent about three hours cleaning up the house and still didn't make it to vacuuming or doing the dishes. A mess? My house? But never! I do like it clean and tidy, but during the week I just don't have the energy to clean up and stuff keeps...piling up. Now I like the look of the place so much that I think I'll stay home to read tomorrow. I really, really can't read at work and I have to start reading.
I read today, but only fiction despite my best intentions. I finally finished In America, which really is a wonderful story of desires, restlessness, finding your place in the world and the sacrifices you are prepared to make for it. And the way she uses different literary styles - I like it.
After finishing In America I started with another book - The Chronicles of Narnia. Fantasy for children ;-). I got introduced to Fantasy and Scifi ten years ago and I must admit it was love at first sight. Not the most intellectual thing to read, I know, but you can't choose what you love. And since the other part of my chosen readings doesn't consist of Donald Duck and Cosmopolitan I think that I am still on the clear. Not that there is anything wrong with Donald Duck. Or Cosmopolitan. But still it is a good thing if a person has read a real book or two in her life. Books give you so much and life without them would be sad indeed.
So what did I do today except sleep? I spent about three hours cleaning up the house and still didn't make it to vacuuming or doing the dishes. A mess? My house? But never! I do like it clean and tidy, but during the week I just don't have the energy to clean up and stuff keeps...piling up. Now I like the look of the place so much that I think I'll stay home to read tomorrow. I really, really can't read at work and I have to start reading.
I read today, but only fiction despite my best intentions. I finally finished In America, which really is a wonderful story of desires, restlessness, finding your place in the world and the sacrifices you are prepared to make for it. And the way she uses different literary styles - I like it.
After finishing In America I started with another book - The Chronicles of Narnia. Fantasy for children ;-). I got introduced to Fantasy and Scifi ten years ago and I must admit it was love at first sight. Not the most intellectual thing to read, I know, but you can't choose what you love. And since the other part of my chosen readings doesn't consist of Donald Duck and Cosmopolitan I think that I am still on the clear. Not that there is anything wrong with Donald Duck. Or Cosmopolitan. But still it is a good thing if a person has read a real book or two in her life. Books give you so much and life without them would be sad indeed.
Once upon a time...
I am tired. It’s only a little after ten o’clock and I can hardly stay awake. And it’s not like I didn’t already nap once today. I don’t know why I feel so tired.
I went to town today to see a movie. Brothers Grimm – a fairly amusing fairytale, even if it was rather fond of its stereotypes. I like movie theatres – you can get lost in the movies in a completely different way than at home. I am not too keen on the crowds in the theatres though, which is why I tend to prefer the day showings. There are far less people and once I’ve even had the whole movie theatre to myself. In the evenings and weekends when there are designated seats I find a place on the side with enough room to stretch and breathe.
I was originally planning to get cultural and visit the adjoining museum at the same time. But the exhibition was about Japanese Manga art and I did not feel like Manga today. So I came home to prepare dinner and finish Sontag’s book; I have only the last pages left to read.
Very tired.
Well, couldn’t post this right away, since Blogger.com is/was doing maintenance. Luckily I got mystically more alert when Top-40 started and they said the magic words “An interview with Rammstein”. Only a very short one with Paul and him full of normal Paulisms again: “We went to the States to get fat for the Keine Lust –video and then to Thailand to lose the weight again (not a direct quote).” I wonder if that was meant as a critical social comment or was just a joke.
Rosenrot went to number one on the album list - yay, but I would have been disappointed if it hadn't - so they showed Benzin. Naturally since it's the only video from the album this far, but a shame because Benzin really is the worst song on the entire album. The presenter was a blathering idiot and did your usual German Sauerkraut-barks. Maybe it is good that my computer claims that the DVD on which I recorded the interview is empty (it’s not, checked and tried) and I therefore can’t share the file. I wouldn’t want the others to think that Finns are brainless bimbos.
I went to town today to see a movie. Brothers Grimm – a fairly amusing fairytale, even if it was rather fond of its stereotypes. I like movie theatres – you can get lost in the movies in a completely different way than at home. I am not too keen on the crowds in the theatres though, which is why I tend to prefer the day showings. There are far less people and once I’ve even had the whole movie theatre to myself. In the evenings and weekends when there are designated seats I find a place on the side with enough room to stretch and breathe.
I was originally planning to get cultural and visit the adjoining museum at the same time. But the exhibition was about Japanese Manga art and I did not feel like Manga today. So I came home to prepare dinner and finish Sontag’s book; I have only the last pages left to read.
Very tired.
Well, couldn’t post this right away, since Blogger.com is/was doing maintenance. Luckily I got mystically more alert when Top-40 started and they said the magic words “An interview with Rammstein”. Only a very short one with Paul and him full of normal Paulisms again: “We went to the States to get fat for the Keine Lust –video and then to Thailand to lose the weight again (not a direct quote).” I wonder if that was meant as a critical social comment or was just a joke.
Rosenrot went to number one on the album list - yay, but I would have been disappointed if it hadn't - so they showed Benzin. Naturally since it's the only video from the album this far, but a shame because Benzin really is the worst song on the entire album. The presenter was a blathering idiot and did your usual German Sauerkraut-barks. Maybe it is good that my computer claims that the DVD on which I recorded the interview is empty (it’s not, checked and tried) and I therefore can’t share the file. I wouldn’t want the others to think that Finns are brainless bimbos.
marraskuuta 03, 2005
Dogs, rocks, Feeney's and partners in crime
I shouldn't leave writing to such a late hour of time. Reflection becomes description and wittiness has left town to introduce it's Dalmatian to the Himalayan mountain goats.
This has not been the most productive of days. I went this morning to the ministry to help my successor to get started. "But wait", you say, "Didn't you come back to the University already two months ago?! Have you lazybutt waited this long before going there to help the poor guy out?" "But no," I cry. "I haven't." The guy started just two days ago - or possibly three, I'm not quite certain - so they were without a junior lawyer for two months. The senior lawyer has not been appointed yet either, so in reality there were no lawyers. Is that heaven or hell? :P Sorry, lawyer jokes...
It's difficult to know what to pass on, but I hope I were of some help. I remember how frustrating it was, when I started in March. It took quite awhile before I even realised what was expected of me. My predecessor had briefed me shortly when I went there for the job-interview, but it didn't really sink in then. Eventually though... The officeroom felt so familiar that I'm afraid I kind of took possession of it as if it was still mine and not yet his. And we got interrupted so many times - because people kept dropping in to say hi to me. They seemed so genuinely pleased to see me that I left beaming. I'm very happy that I returned to the university, but there are some very nice people at the ministry too - like my fellow partners in crime, the "drafters of the infamous Master's Degree Programme Statute".
I spent few meagre moments at the Uni before I left to walk my sister's dog. They had a long day - or at least were supposed to - so I took Maija out to the little dog park by the sea. That dog likes her rocks. She found one, which was apparently guite tasty because she had to keep licking it for quite awhile. She didn't take it home this time though, but I can tell you that her collection is starting to be already rather impressive.
My sister came home earlier than expected and so I stayed for almost three hours - to go through a decent amount of chocolate and check for summer cottages in Estonia among other things. Now I'm home, enjoying a nice dash of Feeney's - that's a cheaper, although just as fine version of Bailey's for those of you not in the know -and I'm starting to think that this was quite a fine day.
*****************************************
Favourite quote of the day: "Turn your bedsheets around so that the slot with the buttons points upwards, so that you don't get stuck while you sleep."
Flake Lorenz, the keyboarder of Rammstein, explaining the hidden message in their album covers.
This has not been the most productive of days. I went this morning to the ministry to help my successor to get started. "But wait", you say, "Didn't you come back to the University already two months ago?! Have you lazybutt waited this long before going there to help the poor guy out?" "But no," I cry. "I haven't." The guy started just two days ago - or possibly three, I'm not quite certain - so they were without a junior lawyer for two months. The senior lawyer has not been appointed yet either, so in reality there were no lawyers. Is that heaven or hell? :P Sorry, lawyer jokes...
It's difficult to know what to pass on, but I hope I were of some help. I remember how frustrating it was, when I started in March. It took quite awhile before I even realised what was expected of me. My predecessor had briefed me shortly when I went there for the job-interview, but it didn't really sink in then. Eventually though... The officeroom felt so familiar that I'm afraid I kind of took possession of it as if it was still mine and not yet his. And we got interrupted so many times - because people kept dropping in to say hi to me. They seemed so genuinely pleased to see me that I left beaming. I'm very happy that I returned to the university, but there are some very nice people at the ministry too - like my fellow partners in crime, the "drafters of the infamous Master's Degree Programme Statute".
I spent few meagre moments at the Uni before I left to walk my sister's dog. They had a long day - or at least were supposed to - so I took Maija out to the little dog park by the sea. That dog likes her rocks. She found one, which was apparently guite tasty because she had to keep licking it for quite awhile. She didn't take it home this time though, but I can tell you that her collection is starting to be already rather impressive.
My sister came home earlier than expected and so I stayed for almost three hours - to go through a decent amount of chocolate and check for summer cottages in Estonia among other things. Now I'm home, enjoying a nice dash of Feeney's - that's a cheaper, although just as fine version of Bailey's for those of you not in the know -and I'm starting to think that this was quite a fine day.
*****************************************
Favourite quote of the day: "Turn your bedsheets around so that the slot with the buttons points upwards, so that you don't get stuck while you sleep."
Flake Lorenz, the keyboarder of Rammstein, explaining the hidden message in their album covers.
marraskuuta 02, 2005
Greetings
I took the car to my sister’s this morning, since she decided to go to Imatra. On my way to the tram stop from her apartment this completely ordinary looking old man turned to me in the lights and said something I couldn’t hear since the music was too loud. So I took my earphone off, said “Sorry?” and he says to me “Good morning”. What was that about? Did I miss something and people have started going around saying “good morning” to strangers in the traffic lights? Or did he think that he did know me?
Maybe I should do a sociological study and ask a select group of people if they are in the habit of greeting their fellow human beings in the traffic lights. Or should I ask them if they experience it as strange that someone would do that? Maybe they think that it is the most natural way to begin a morning. Or maybe it should be? Would it make the world a happier place, if we started saying “good morning” to a minimum of three strangers every morning?
I didn’t feel happier though, only puzzled. Being a polite young woman I said “good morning” back to the old man, but then I decided in an instant – or didn’t even consciously decide, just reacted really – and walked to the next traffic lights without stopping as I had intended to. I am not quite certain I want to know what that tells about me.
Ah, I don’t want to think about it.
Today. What happened today? We had the last session of the Enlightenment-course, not a real session anymore, but a one for feedback. I think the students liked the course all right; 9/10 is the grade they gave to it – anonymously au naturellement. It was certainly good enough a course to be worth doing again; personally it was also a good opportunity to remind oneself how important it is to know the subject matter one is teaching. It is much more rewarding this way. Not that I’m saying that I would ever have taught a course the subject matter of which I would not have known. No. Never. Ever. It’s just that knowing is such a relative matter.
This is again one of those days when I’ve felt the desire to know more, to learn more, to read more. S was presenting his licentiate thesis today, legal philosophy. I’ve had an interest in philosophy for who knows how long, but my knowledge of philosophy is not much better than that of an average coffee-table debater. I know just enough to think that sometimes I get hold of the rope and manage to pull myself a little above the water. I can feel the thoughts tickle the surface of my brains, expanding them. But they do not make real contact, not enough for my brains to start emitting thoughts back – not yet at least. I want to know more, but there are so many things I want to know more about. So many things I want to do.
I love it that I want again.
I hate it that I have wasted so much time.
Maybe I should do a sociological study and ask a select group of people if they are in the habit of greeting their fellow human beings in the traffic lights. Or should I ask them if they experience it as strange that someone would do that? Maybe they think that it is the most natural way to begin a morning. Or maybe it should be? Would it make the world a happier place, if we started saying “good morning” to a minimum of three strangers every morning?
I didn’t feel happier though, only puzzled. Being a polite young woman I said “good morning” back to the old man, but then I decided in an instant – or didn’t even consciously decide, just reacted really – and walked to the next traffic lights without stopping as I had intended to. I am not quite certain I want to know what that tells about me.
Ah, I don’t want to think about it.
Today. What happened today? We had the last session of the Enlightenment-course, not a real session anymore, but a one for feedback. I think the students liked the course all right; 9/10 is the grade they gave to it – anonymously au naturellement. It was certainly good enough a course to be worth doing again; personally it was also a good opportunity to remind oneself how important it is to know the subject matter one is teaching. It is much more rewarding this way. Not that I’m saying that I would ever have taught a course the subject matter of which I would not have known. No. Never. Ever. It’s just that knowing is such a relative matter.
This is again one of those days when I’ve felt the desire to know more, to learn more, to read more. S was presenting his licentiate thesis today, legal philosophy. I’ve had an interest in philosophy for who knows how long, but my knowledge of philosophy is not much better than that of an average coffee-table debater. I know just enough to think that sometimes I get hold of the rope and manage to pull myself a little above the water. I can feel the thoughts tickle the surface of my brains, expanding them. But they do not make real contact, not enough for my brains to start emitting thoughts back – not yet at least. I want to know more, but there are so many things I want to know more about. So many things I want to do.
I love it that I want again.
I hate it that I have wasted so much time.
marraskuuta 01, 2005
bored again
I’m booooreeeeeeeeeeeed.
I had a fine day earlier today, at work, but now I’m bored. That’s what happens when you get lost in the net for too long. And don’t eat enough. You get BORED.
I think I will swallow in my boredom now for a while. And watch some TV. I’m an old TV-addict, have I mentioned that? I’d say that makes me boring, but then again some very interesting people spend too much time watching TV. I’d say the R or T words again, but I think I’ll save your ears tonight. Except maybe to explain that if someone interesting enough does something boring and still doesn’t become a boring person, that means I can apply the same to myself and actually believe it. Psycho-babble.
That makes me question my own prejudices again – am I too judgmental? Do I make too great demands on people? I’d try to figure that out, but I can’t be bothered. Maybe tomorrow. Now I’m busy being bored.
I had a fine day earlier today, at work, but now I’m bored. That’s what happens when you get lost in the net for too long. And don’t eat enough. You get BORED.
I think I will swallow in my boredom now for a while. And watch some TV. I’m an old TV-addict, have I mentioned that? I’d say that makes me boring, but then again some very interesting people spend too much time watching TV. I’d say the R or T words again, but I think I’ll save your ears tonight. Except maybe to explain that if someone interesting enough does something boring and still doesn’t become a boring person, that means I can apply the same to myself and actually believe it. Psycho-babble.
That makes me question my own prejudices again – am I too judgmental? Do I make too great demands on people? I’d try to figure that out, but I can’t be bothered. Maybe tomorrow. Now I’m busy being bored.
lokakuuta 31, 2005
Politics and Religion
I was going to continue reading “In America”, but then I started to think about politics. This probably is again partially Rammstein-related. There are people who know absolutely nothing about them and then there are people who think they know something about them, and the latter usually seem to have the wrong, media-induced idea of them being a “bad”, even “right-wing” band. Which naturally, as anyone who really knows anything about Rammstein is aware, couldn’t be farther from the truth. It doesn’t even take reading hundred of articles – which yours truly confesses to have done – to figure that out.
Oh, and this by the by is Rammstein, so you know what I'm obsessing about.
And this is where you can hear snippets of their songs. If you don't like metal-leaning rock in German, don't bother. If you do, press "Rosenrot"-PLAYER.
http://rammstein.com/Extras/
Rammstein isn’t really a political band, even if they have a few songs that could be considered as “statements”: Links about their general left-wing leanings, Amerika about the dangers of globalisation and Zerstören of course can be seen as their clearest anti-Iraq-war comment. Amerika is also partly that, and for me also Benzin, even though it apparently wasn’t really meant as an anti-war statement. That obviously appeals to me, since I’ve always seen Monsieur Bush as a very frightening school-yard bully, a new-born Christian radical, with no way near enough brains to lead a country, a power-hungry hawk with no real conception of ordinary people’s lives and the suffering his actions can cause. So I did not need Rammstein to make me anti-Bush or anti-Iraq-war – I was that much, much earlier. I did need Rammstein to admit to myself my own left-wing leanings. Having a fairly bourgeois immediate background it took me awhile. Rammstein – and certain people I’ve met through sharing a Rammsteinian addiction – have also taught me to love myself a lot more than I did earlier. And loving myself has given me strength to make decisions I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
Mum, I’ve left the church.
In order to tell you why I think I’ll just post the ramblings I used to justify the decision to myself in May or June or whenever it was. As I said before, I think on paper. I was planning to write a book of Confessions then and this was to be the first chapter. Here you go...
These confessions you are about to hear, are not religious by nature. I do not wish to confess to God or his servants. I do not believe in God; and even if he (she/it?) should be out there somewhere, he (for purposes of convenience) would not wish to hear my confessions. He only listens to those who love and obey him. That is why I have decided to leave the church today; to hand in my resignation, to be rid of the bunch for once and for all; one man's (human, not male, you understand) silent protest. It feels excruciatingly phoney for me to be another name on the list of his followers when my heart is so full of mistrust. Mistrust and dislike for his church, which is a source for so much evil. And happiness too – I won't deny that many have found their salvation within the church. But the church – like its master – loves and accepts you only if you obey – conform – be a good girl and do exactly as they say. If you are different, they may tolerate you – graciously, righteously – but they will never accept you as you are. Toleration always proclaims deviant the thing that it tolerates.
And yet my heart is troubled by the decision. I hesitate to tick those boxes and click the send-button. The modern-day wonders. Separation from the church on-line. Will take you only two minutes and it is accomplished. Some would certainly call it a work of devil; I think I'd be happier to see it as a true means to practise one's freedom of thought.
And yet I am troubled. Why? Is it because on the back of my mind hover the hordes of frowning relatives. I doubt it, not anymore. I have decided that I must be me and not allow the expectations of other people to affect my life anymore. The days of being the puppet on the strings are over. She says confidently, hesitantly, with a stubborn grimace on her face and her back against the wall. No more...
I do not think it's the relatives. They will be disappointed, but they will understand. Is it that I fear the wrath of God then?
- But dear girl, didn't you just say you don't even believe in his existence?
- No, that's not precisely what I said; I said – or meant – that I find it highly irrational and unlikely that he would exist. I won't deny the possibility; I don't know everything after all.
- Oh really? ::cough, cough, you could have fooled me sometimes…::
- What?
- Nothing. So you think it's possible that he created Earth in seven days and plopped Adam on it and did some magic work with his ribs?
- Don't be ridiculous! Of course not. Earth developed and blaah-blaah... I'm not going to give you a lesson in the origin of species.
- But God was behind it and there is no life anywhere else in this universe?
- Oh, I don't know! I seriously doubt it.
- You doubt that God was behind the creation of Earth or that there is life somewhere else?
- That God was behind it. I mean, don't you think, that it would be highly unlikely that there wouldn't be life somewhere else too? It just doesn't sound rational. Not that I am saying it would necessarily be intelligent life; you are not going to make me a crazy space-enthusiast here!! Although I don't want to claim that it couldn't be intelligent life, too. It sounds a little smug to assume that we would be THE only intelligent life-form in the entire universe.
- A relativist rationalist with a problem tolerating the space-enthusiasts, huh?
- What?
- Nothing. So God didn't create Earth and chuck Adam and Eve to play happy couple on it. So what did he do? Smite the Egyptians and talk to the prophets?
- No, those are metaphors if anything.
- Flood the Earth and the, uh, Giants, and save Noah and his prolific family?
- Did you just hear what I said?
- Ok, so the New Testament then. Got Mary pregnant with a whisper in her mind? Virginal insemination, you'd like that, huh?
- Don't talk to me about virgin-births!!
- So, basically you are saying that even if there is a God, he isn't really responsible for anything?
- ....
- Well?
- I don't know. Maybe. But that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be influential. People have done so much in his name.
- Yes, people. So perhaps it isn't this abstract God you are afraid will smite you if you leave his congregation. It's the people who follow him.
- I don't know. Maybe.
- That seems to be your standard reply.
- Well, that because I DON’T KNOW! Can't you get that?
- Of course I get that. But religion isn't about knowing, it's about believing. You don't believe in God, not in your heart of hearts. You may have the last lingering remains of the atavistic fear of hellfire, but you don' really believe. And the church, his followers. Tell me this, even if there were a God, just for the sake of argument, do you think that belonging to the church would get you closer to him?
- No, no, definitely not. The church is an organisation of man, bureaucratic and power-hungry. It is there for its own sake, not for that of mankind – or God.
- We have issues there, don't we? Time for that later, maybe, but not now. So, if there were a God, still for the sake of argument, would he know your heart and your thoughts, even if you're not a member of one of his many churches?
- Well, yeah, if he were God, of course he would.
- So, what's the point in being part of the church, then? Not God, who possibly exists or more likely not, in your opinion. Making the relatives happy? Getting the church-wedding, which it seems like you are not ever going to get anyway?
- Shut up, you insensitive bastard!!
- I thought you didn't even want a church-wedding anymore?
- Well, I don't, but that's no reason to insinuate that I would never be able to find a spouse for myself.
- Hmm, issues there too, but I don’t think I want to get into those...
- Be quiet, I don't know what I want.
- I think we have established that. But the church, old girl! What's making your hesitant, if there is really no – let me just whisper it – rational reason for you to stay?
- There isn't, is there? It's just that it is a big decision and you know how I hate decisions. It's a real statement.
- You are a conservative coward, who'd rather cling to a burning tree than hop into a lake. It's a statement to belong to the church, too. It's not like we are living in the middle ages. You are not going to get burned as a witch, if you tear yourself from the skirts of the mother-church. You aren't even going to get chucked by your friends, since plenty – if not most – of them think exactly like you do. And even if they don't, it's the 21st century, girl! Religion belongs to the private sphere these days – unless you were unlucky enough to be born in the dominions of Allah, the Pope or the all-mighty Bush.
- Are you trying to talk me into leaving the church, then?
- I'm only asking if this is yet again one decision you are hesitant to make because of your unfounded fears. I don't want you to live your life controlled by fear.
Fear does control my life. A confession. An answer – of kinds anyway. I have filled the form now. It didn't take even two minutes. Your name, place of residence and social security-number. Now the decision is only that one click away. Why do I still hesitate, when I know that I want to do it? I need five more minutes to think about this. I think I'll just go to the bathroom and make my decision. Oh, the fundamental believers would crucify me for that. And why do I care, when they are so low on my list of people to tolerate? Five more minutes.
Now it is done. Clickety-click. I will be getting a letter in five to ten days that my notice has been registered. I feel so relieved that I wish to cry. I have gotten rid of one expectation more. If I ever wish to rejoin the church, it will be my decision now; not something that society and traditions expect from me.
************
And, dear Reader, I must say that these X months later I am still plenty happy with my decision.
Oh, and this by the by is Rammstein, so you know what I'm obsessing about.
And this is where you can hear snippets of their songs. If you don't like metal-leaning rock in German, don't bother. If you do, press "Rosenrot"-PLAYER.
http://rammstein.com/Extras/
Rammstein isn’t really a political band, even if they have a few songs that could be considered as “statements”: Links about their general left-wing leanings, Amerika about the dangers of globalisation and Zerstören of course can be seen as their clearest anti-Iraq-war comment. Amerika is also partly that, and for me also Benzin, even though it apparently wasn’t really meant as an anti-war statement. That obviously appeals to me, since I’ve always seen Monsieur Bush as a very frightening school-yard bully, a new-born Christian radical, with no way near enough brains to lead a country, a power-hungry hawk with no real conception of ordinary people’s lives and the suffering his actions can cause. So I did not need Rammstein to make me anti-Bush or anti-Iraq-war – I was that much, much earlier. I did need Rammstein to admit to myself my own left-wing leanings. Having a fairly bourgeois immediate background it took me awhile. Rammstein – and certain people I’ve met through sharing a Rammsteinian addiction – have also taught me to love myself a lot more than I did earlier. And loving myself has given me strength to make decisions I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
Mum, I’ve left the church.
In order to tell you why I think I’ll just post the ramblings I used to justify the decision to myself in May or June or whenever it was. As I said before, I think on paper. I was planning to write a book of Confessions then and this was to be the first chapter. Here you go...
These confessions you are about to hear, are not religious by nature. I do not wish to confess to God or his servants. I do not believe in God; and even if he (she/it?) should be out there somewhere, he (for purposes of convenience) would not wish to hear my confessions. He only listens to those who love and obey him. That is why I have decided to leave the church today; to hand in my resignation, to be rid of the bunch for once and for all; one man's (human, not male, you understand) silent protest. It feels excruciatingly phoney for me to be another name on the list of his followers when my heart is so full of mistrust. Mistrust and dislike for his church, which is a source for so much evil. And happiness too – I won't deny that many have found their salvation within the church. But the church – like its master – loves and accepts you only if you obey – conform – be a good girl and do exactly as they say. If you are different, they may tolerate you – graciously, righteously – but they will never accept you as you are. Toleration always proclaims deviant the thing that it tolerates.
And yet my heart is troubled by the decision. I hesitate to tick those boxes and click the send-button. The modern-day wonders. Separation from the church on-line. Will take you only two minutes and it is accomplished. Some would certainly call it a work of devil; I think I'd be happier to see it as a true means to practise one's freedom of thought.
And yet I am troubled. Why? Is it because on the back of my mind hover the hordes of frowning relatives. I doubt it, not anymore. I have decided that I must be me and not allow the expectations of other people to affect my life anymore. The days of being the puppet on the strings are over. She says confidently, hesitantly, with a stubborn grimace on her face and her back against the wall. No more...
I do not think it's the relatives. They will be disappointed, but they will understand. Is it that I fear the wrath of God then?
- But dear girl, didn't you just say you don't even believe in his existence?
- No, that's not precisely what I said; I said – or meant – that I find it highly irrational and unlikely that he would exist. I won't deny the possibility; I don't know everything after all.
- Oh really? ::cough, cough, you could have fooled me sometimes…::
- What?
- Nothing. So you think it's possible that he created Earth in seven days and plopped Adam on it and did some magic work with his ribs?
- Don't be ridiculous! Of course not. Earth developed and blaah-blaah... I'm not going to give you a lesson in the origin of species.
- But God was behind it and there is no life anywhere else in this universe?
- Oh, I don't know! I seriously doubt it.
- You doubt that God was behind the creation of Earth or that there is life somewhere else?
- That God was behind it. I mean, don't you think, that it would be highly unlikely that there wouldn't be life somewhere else too? It just doesn't sound rational. Not that I am saying it would necessarily be intelligent life; you are not going to make me a crazy space-enthusiast here!! Although I don't want to claim that it couldn't be intelligent life, too. It sounds a little smug to assume that we would be THE only intelligent life-form in the entire universe.
- A relativist rationalist with a problem tolerating the space-enthusiasts, huh?
- What?
- Nothing. So God didn't create Earth and chuck Adam and Eve to play happy couple on it. So what did he do? Smite the Egyptians and talk to the prophets?
- No, those are metaphors if anything.
- Flood the Earth and the, uh, Giants, and save Noah and his prolific family?
- Did you just hear what I said?
- Ok, so the New Testament then. Got Mary pregnant with a whisper in her mind? Virginal insemination, you'd like that, huh?
- Don't talk to me about virgin-births!!
- So, basically you are saying that even if there is a God, he isn't really responsible for anything?
- ....
- Well?
- I don't know. Maybe. But that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be influential. People have done so much in his name.
- Yes, people. So perhaps it isn't this abstract God you are afraid will smite you if you leave his congregation. It's the people who follow him.
- I don't know. Maybe.
- That seems to be your standard reply.
- Well, that because I DON’T KNOW! Can't you get that?
- Of course I get that. But religion isn't about knowing, it's about believing. You don't believe in God, not in your heart of hearts. You may have the last lingering remains of the atavistic fear of hellfire, but you don' really believe. And the church, his followers. Tell me this, even if there were a God, just for the sake of argument, do you think that belonging to the church would get you closer to him?
- No, no, definitely not. The church is an organisation of man, bureaucratic and power-hungry. It is there for its own sake, not for that of mankind – or God.
- We have issues there, don't we? Time for that later, maybe, but not now. So, if there were a God, still for the sake of argument, would he know your heart and your thoughts, even if you're not a member of one of his many churches?
- Well, yeah, if he were God, of course he would.
- So, what's the point in being part of the church, then? Not God, who possibly exists or more likely not, in your opinion. Making the relatives happy? Getting the church-wedding, which it seems like you are not ever going to get anyway?
- Shut up, you insensitive bastard!!
- I thought you didn't even want a church-wedding anymore?
- Well, I don't, but that's no reason to insinuate that I would never be able to find a spouse for myself.
- Hmm, issues there too, but I don’t think I want to get into those...
- Be quiet, I don't know what I want.
- I think we have established that. But the church, old girl! What's making your hesitant, if there is really no – let me just whisper it – rational reason for you to stay?
- There isn't, is there? It's just that it is a big decision and you know how I hate decisions. It's a real statement.
- You are a conservative coward, who'd rather cling to a burning tree than hop into a lake. It's a statement to belong to the church, too. It's not like we are living in the middle ages. You are not going to get burned as a witch, if you tear yourself from the skirts of the mother-church. You aren't even going to get chucked by your friends, since plenty – if not most – of them think exactly like you do. And even if they don't, it's the 21st century, girl! Religion belongs to the private sphere these days – unless you were unlucky enough to be born in the dominions of Allah, the Pope or the all-mighty Bush.
- Are you trying to talk me into leaving the church, then?
- I'm only asking if this is yet again one decision you are hesitant to make because of your unfounded fears. I don't want you to live your life controlled by fear.
Fear does control my life. A confession. An answer – of kinds anyway. I have filled the form now. It didn't take even two minutes. Your name, place of residence and social security-number. Now the decision is only that one click away. Why do I still hesitate, when I know that I want to do it? I need five more minutes to think about this. I think I'll just go to the bathroom and make my decision. Oh, the fundamental believers would crucify me for that. And why do I care, when they are so low on my list of people to tolerate? Five more minutes.
Now it is done. Clickety-click. I will be getting a letter in five to ten days that my notice has been registered. I feel so relieved that I wish to cry. I have gotten rid of one expectation more. If I ever wish to rejoin the church, it will be my decision now; not something that society and traditions expect from me.
************
And, dear Reader, I must say that these X months later I am still plenty happy with my decision.
Pick your choice of a title
What have I learned today? Other than that if you listen to Rammstein when transcribing archive entries you will work twice as fast as normally. As weird as it sounds music keeps you more concentrated on the work you're doing.
I got my first blog comment yesterday. :-) A real comment, the ones from the Korea Telecommunications and their ilk don't count. Thank you T, it is very nice to get comments. And a record number of visits too!
- I told you! You don't get anyone reading unless you tell them you're writing.
- You always know everything, don't you?
- Of course. I'm perfect.
- ....
- What? Not even a "Shut up!" or a tiny "Bugger of!"?
- ....
- Damn woman, that's not very nice of you.
- I'm practising being an adult and won't even deign to answer your insults.
- An adult? You! You're hurting my stomach, lass. You can't go a day without mentioning the name of that weird band. That's what fifteen years do, dear girl.
- Bah, I know fifty year olds who are more obsessed than me.
- No you don't!
- Yes I do!
- Never!
- I do too!
- Yeah, your argumentational skills really prove you're an adult.
- Oh, shut up!
I think it is time to go back to reading Susan Sontag. But first I have to transfer some songs to my MP3-player. Everyone sing along "Tiefe Brunnen muß man graben, wenn man klares Wasser will..."
I got my first blog comment yesterday. :-) A real comment, the ones from the Korea Telecommunications and their ilk don't count. Thank you T, it is very nice to get comments. And a record number of visits too!
- I told you! You don't get anyone reading unless you tell them you're writing.
- You always know everything, don't you?
- Of course. I'm perfect.
- ....
- What? Not even a "Shut up!" or a tiny "Bugger of!"?
- ....
- Damn woman, that's not very nice of you.
- I'm practising being an adult and won't even deign to answer your insults.
- An adult? You! You're hurting my stomach, lass. You can't go a day without mentioning the name of that weird band. That's what fifteen years do, dear girl.
- Bah, I know fifty year olds who are more obsessed than me.
- No you don't!
- Yes I do!
- Never!
- I do too!
- Yeah, your argumentational skills really prove you're an adult.
- Oh, shut up!
I think it is time to go back to reading Susan Sontag. But first I have to transfer some songs to my MP3-player. Everyone sing along "Tiefe Brunnen muß man graben, wenn man klares Wasser will..."
lokakuuta 30, 2005
Sonntag
I edited my European journal today as you can see. Took forever.
Now I've been listening to Rosenrot non-stop. I love it, absolutely love it - every single song is amazing, even the ones I thought at first that don't work. I may be of different opinion in a couple of months time, but right now I think it's the best album they have ever made. Magnificient.
I listen to Rammstein and read Susan Sontag's "In America". I had never read anything from her before, but she is very rapidly becoming my new favourite author. I love her style.
Okay, just wanted to come here and share with you the fact that I'm having a wonderful evening. I have gathered pillows on the floor, have my cup of tea, Rammstein and Sontag and life is feeling wonderfully bitter sweet. Will go back to it now. Byeee.
Now I've been listening to Rosenrot non-stop. I love it, absolutely love it - every single song is amazing, even the ones I thought at first that don't work. I may be of different opinion in a couple of months time, but right now I think it's the best album they have ever made. Magnificient.
I listen to Rammstein and read Susan Sontag's "In America". I had never read anything from her before, but she is very rapidly becoming my new favourite author. I love her style.
Okay, just wanted to come here and share with you the fact that I'm having a wonderful evening. I have gathered pillows on the floor, have my cup of tea, Rammstein and Sontag and life is feeling wonderfully bitter sweet. Will go back to it now. Byeee.
The OMY-European Tour – Day Six – 28th of October
We are on our way to Frankfurt – sitting on a local train and enjoying the unexpectedness of travelling. We decided to switch trains in Karlsruhe in order to catch a faster train going directly to the Frankfurt airport. But, alas, it turned out to be full-booked, as was the next one, which is why a local train it is. It’s crowded, baby carriages, bicycles and people going to who knows where. The scenery is gorgeous though. One can see more this way than sitting an extra hour at the Frankfurt airport. The best place to have spent the hour would have been Strasbourg, but of course it is understandable that people want to be on the airport in good time.
Strasbourg was beautiful – the most beautiful of these three cities by far. And possibly my new favourite of the middling sized cities – you can’t really compare it to Paris or St. Petersburg since they are so different. It is a shame we had such little time to spend there. The place is really worth a visit.
We walked this morning to the European Court of Human Rights. The building itself is like a big space ship, but it’s situated in quite amazing surroundings. We walked along the river bank when we returned to the hotel and it was really one of the most beautiful routes I have ever seen in my life. Could not tear my eyes away from the river. It flows steadily – speedily – past the court and almost seems to wash away the sins like the autumn leaves which float on its surface. The graceful swans embrace the river banks and with their existence symbolise the compensation that the court distributes.
We were introduced to the operation of the court by P. The speech he gave appealed to me in a way the most of all the presentations. It brought closest to reality the work that they actually do here – as if it is something that really matters. Can you tell that human rights interest me more than internal markets and competition? P wasn’t the smoothest of all people, but his examples were very enlightening.
He was also quite endearing when he introduced himself to me after the lecture. You see, I’ve been working as a courier this trip too. I was supposed to get the proofread articles from our honourable judges to J for the Lakimies-magazine. I’m not absolutely sure that the versions I got are exactly what she wants. If not then she just has to rely on modern communication methods.
They were talking of childhood experiences in the train – one of them. I did not catch half of it, since we were sitting a bit further – Eavesdropping? Me? Never! – but J said something along the lines of sharing childhood experiences, since putting them through the group therapy would help people get rid of childhood traumas that were a hindrance to finishing the dissertation. A joke, I know, but so much truth in it as to be worth a rueful smile. What a masochistic experience that would be; one I’m certain most people would not be ready for. When everything that a person goes through in thirty years gets dropped in your lap in an hour, it is too much. It’s much better to use things like...blogs, for example, as a personal therapist. I don’t know if it quite fair to do that, but no-one is forced to read blogs.
And it takes time before one gets comfortable with the idea of the net as a place where you can come across real people. I have for example told a couple of people at the Uni about my blog and it appears that they don’t read it. I think there are limits as to how well people wish to know you. Another question is of course whether it is naïve to share all your inner contemplations on the net. It is completely possible to misuse information of that kind. I am not as naïve as not to understand that. Yet that doesn’t stop me from writing. The benefits outweigh the dangers at least so far.
Also díscussions of plans of going to Tuscany next year. That would be very lovely. The countryside there is quite amazing too – maybe not quite as wonderful as around here, but still gorgeous. To Florence I’ve been twice already and it – unfortunately – didn’t terribly much impress me, but the idea of olive-picking and wine-harvesting is absolutely frigging marvellous. I would love to do that.
The journey is almost finished. On the airplane now: the food has been eaten – somewhat better than on the way to Brussels, but still not receiving full marks – the paper has been read and the evenings educational BBC-documentary is over. Our people are talking in the rows behind me, but I’m feeling a tad too travel worn to participate. I’m not an extrovert and there always tends to come a point sooner or later – and usually sooner – when I just can’t socialise anymore.
The security on the Frankfurt airport was again relatively high. They search you when you go through the security. Our line was a bit short of the electronic whatchmacallits so only men where checked with those; women were done “manually” by a pretty brunette. She had soft hands. Aargh, life is confusing. Pre-Tillian thoughts again.
Speaking of R+, Ilta-Sanomat reports that Rosenrot is on sale in Free-Record Shops. The DVD-version for 18,99 € – just today and tomorrow. I will not be happy if the DVD-ones are sold out before I get my hands on one. It’s a limited edition and Finland has plenty of Rammstein crazy people – the only country that got Benzin to number one on the singles list already during the first week. Yes, your merry little Finland. I want to hear ‘em songs.
We are almost to Helsinki. The trip is over and we’ve been to the important EU-institutions now. That takes a lot away from their remoteness, but also from their “pomp and glory”. The offices were like offices in any building, the people just like the bloke sitting next door – could be me if I had made my choices differently. Could be anyone – at least in Finland. In countries like France or Britain it may be a different thing, but at least in Finland anybody can become anything.
R asked what the best thing about this trip was and my answer was then food, company, architecture and scenery. After Strasbourg I had to add that city – the walk from the court. The adjectives just fail there. Sometimes things and places just are so beautiful that you have to stare and let them carry you with them.
I hope there is no snow, no snow, no snow... I cannot take snow yet, especially not after the weather in Strasbourg and Frankfurt. It was frigging warm there – almost 20 °C. Those lucky bastards! Lucky bleeping bastards.
Hey, and thanks to everyone who was along. I had fun. Next year in Tuscany, ay?
Nearly here now.
Strasbourg was beautiful – the most beautiful of these three cities by far. And possibly my new favourite of the middling sized cities – you can’t really compare it to Paris or St. Petersburg since they are so different. It is a shame we had such little time to spend there. The place is really worth a visit.
We walked this morning to the European Court of Human Rights. The building itself is like a big space ship, but it’s situated in quite amazing surroundings. We walked along the river bank when we returned to the hotel and it was really one of the most beautiful routes I have ever seen in my life. Could not tear my eyes away from the river. It flows steadily – speedily – past the court and almost seems to wash away the sins like the autumn leaves which float on its surface. The graceful swans embrace the river banks and with their existence symbolise the compensation that the court distributes.
We were introduced to the operation of the court by P. The speech he gave appealed to me in a way the most of all the presentations. It brought closest to reality the work that they actually do here – as if it is something that really matters. Can you tell that human rights interest me more than internal markets and competition? P wasn’t the smoothest of all people, but his examples were very enlightening.
He was also quite endearing when he introduced himself to me after the lecture. You see, I’ve been working as a courier this trip too. I was supposed to get the proofread articles from our honourable judges to J for the Lakimies-magazine. I’m not absolutely sure that the versions I got are exactly what she wants. If not then she just has to rely on modern communication methods.
They were talking of childhood experiences in the train – one of them. I did not catch half of it, since we were sitting a bit further – Eavesdropping? Me? Never! – but J said something along the lines of sharing childhood experiences, since putting them through the group therapy would help people get rid of childhood traumas that were a hindrance to finishing the dissertation. A joke, I know, but so much truth in it as to be worth a rueful smile. What a masochistic experience that would be; one I’m certain most people would not be ready for. When everything that a person goes through in thirty years gets dropped in your lap in an hour, it is too much. It’s much better to use things like...blogs, for example, as a personal therapist. I don’t know if it quite fair to do that, but no-one is forced to read blogs.
And it takes time before one gets comfortable with the idea of the net as a place where you can come across real people. I have for example told a couple of people at the Uni about my blog and it appears that they don’t read it. I think there are limits as to how well people wish to know you. Another question is of course whether it is naïve to share all your inner contemplations on the net. It is completely possible to misuse information of that kind. I am not as naïve as not to understand that. Yet that doesn’t stop me from writing. The benefits outweigh the dangers at least so far.
Also díscussions of plans of going to Tuscany next year. That would be very lovely. The countryside there is quite amazing too – maybe not quite as wonderful as around here, but still gorgeous. To Florence I’ve been twice already and it – unfortunately – didn’t terribly much impress me, but the idea of olive-picking and wine-harvesting is absolutely frigging marvellous. I would love to do that.
The journey is almost finished. On the airplane now: the food has been eaten – somewhat better than on the way to Brussels, but still not receiving full marks – the paper has been read and the evenings educational BBC-documentary is over. Our people are talking in the rows behind me, but I’m feeling a tad too travel worn to participate. I’m not an extrovert and there always tends to come a point sooner or later – and usually sooner – when I just can’t socialise anymore.
The security on the Frankfurt airport was again relatively high. They search you when you go through the security. Our line was a bit short of the electronic whatchmacallits so only men where checked with those; women were done “manually” by a pretty brunette. She had soft hands. Aargh, life is confusing. Pre-Tillian thoughts again.
Speaking of R+, Ilta-Sanomat reports that Rosenrot is on sale in Free-Record Shops. The DVD-version for 18,99 € – just today and tomorrow. I will not be happy if the DVD-ones are sold out before I get my hands on one. It’s a limited edition and Finland has plenty of Rammstein crazy people – the only country that got Benzin to number one on the singles list already during the first week. Yes, your merry little Finland. I want to hear ‘em songs.
We are almost to Helsinki. The trip is over and we’ve been to the important EU-institutions now. That takes a lot away from their remoteness, but also from their “pomp and glory”. The offices were like offices in any building, the people just like the bloke sitting next door – could be me if I had made my choices differently. Could be anyone – at least in Finland. In countries like France or Britain it may be a different thing, but at least in Finland anybody can become anything.
R asked what the best thing about this trip was and my answer was then food, company, architecture and scenery. After Strasbourg I had to add that city – the walk from the court. The adjectives just fail there. Sometimes things and places just are so beautiful that you have to stare and let them carry you with them.
I hope there is no snow, no snow, no snow... I cannot take snow yet, especially not after the weather in Strasbourg and Frankfurt. It was frigging warm there – almost 20 °C. Those lucky bastards! Lucky bleeping bastards.
Hey, and thanks to everyone who was along. I had fun. Next year in Tuscany, ay?
Nearly here now.
The OMY-European Tour – Day Five – 27th of October
The busiest day of them all. We spent nearly the entire day at the Court and then had to hurry to the train station again to catch the train to Strasbourg. We had an opportunity to follow a hearing in an IKEA-case. The case in itself was frankly rather boring, but it was an interesting opportunity to see the court in action. There was not terribly much interaction; the three parties – the representatives of IKEA, the Commission and the Council – read out loud their statements and took over an hour doing that. One of the judges asked basically just one question and the representatives of the Commission and Council had serious difficulties answering to that.
This kind of a tour would be extremely educational for law students too; it would dispel possible doubts about being able to cope in the European circles. And of course would just generally add awareness of the opportunities here – more than one person said that they are having occasional difficulties in recruiting people from Finland. Five years ago I would have been excited by a possibility like that, but I’m no more interested in the kind of responsibility or doing 12 hour days. No thank you, not for me.
I slept – or drowsed – for most of the train ride to Strasbourg. We arrived shortly before nine o’clock and checked into our hotel, which was really the best of the hotels in the three cities. Unfortunately we didn’t really have time to enjoy its offerings. We went out to find a restaurant again – that is one of the good things about travelling in a bigger company. You go out and eat in restaurants at evenings even if it is already nine. Alone I would not have stepped out of the hotel room anymore and would have missed seeing the Petite France – part of the old town by the river. Beautiful.
This kind of a tour would be extremely educational for law students too; it would dispel possible doubts about being able to cope in the European circles. And of course would just generally add awareness of the opportunities here – more than one person said that they are having occasional difficulties in recruiting people from Finland. Five years ago I would have been excited by a possibility like that, but I’m no more interested in the kind of responsibility or doing 12 hour days. No thank you, not for me.
I slept – or drowsed – for most of the train ride to Strasbourg. We arrived shortly before nine o’clock and checked into our hotel, which was really the best of the hotels in the three cities. Unfortunately we didn’t really have time to enjoy its offerings. We went out to find a restaurant again – that is one of the good things about travelling in a bigger company. You go out and eat in restaurants at evenings even if it is already nine. Alone I would not have stepped out of the hotel room anymore and would have missed seeing the Petite France – part of the old town by the river. Beautiful.
The OMY-European Tour – Day Four – 26th of October
(later entry) A relatively early start this morning. We are leaving Brussels and taking the train to Luxemburg. This is again one of the easier days program-wise. The program has been planned quite well, so we do also have plenty of free time. We have scheduled a visit to the Library of the European Court of Justice (or both courts? – didn’t pay enough attention) and then later in the evening a dinner with some representatives of the courts. I’ll get back to my impressions about both a little later, but first lets jump on the train to Luxemburg. Most of the stuff about Tuesday was also written down on the train – not too many opportunities for keeping the journal, I’m afraid – but here some direct observations – okay, edited direct observations...
Alright, touristy viewpoints. Mannekin Pis is small – prepare for a Mona-Lisa effect – the main square (Grand Place/Große Markt) of Brussels is tourist-filled even at this time of the year and decently impressive. I’d have to go to improve on art history to be able to tell you which eras and styles the buildings represented. I was disgustingly badly prepared for this week and did not check anything beforehand about the history of any of the cities we visited. There were also no guided tours so history-wise I know not much more about Brussels, Luxemburg or Strasbourg now than I did before. Will do better next time.
What I can say is that among the beautiful old buildings there is an awful amount of ugly new pompous offices. Quite a number of the older houses have also been left to deteriorate – in the hope, we heard, that they would eventually be of such a bad condition, that there was no sense in protecting them and the EU sources could be induced to by them with hard cash and build new buildings in their stead. All of this added to the general south-European colourfulness and did not make Brussels the tidiest of all cities. A nice city, but nowhere you absolutely have to go, since there are plenty of other cities in the world. Try Paris for example, or St. Petersburg, Stockholm or Strasbourg.
The Belgian countryside on the other hand is beautiful. We are on the train now, on our way to Luxemburg. It’s all green hills, picturesque old villages, copses of trees, stone churches and even a castle here and there. Now this is a place where one could live. Absolutely fabulous. Now, why can’t Finnish countryside be like this? I’d be away from the city so fast.
It’s not all as beautiful of course. Reach a place big enough to have a train-station and you get ugly factories and concrete buildings likes of which you’ll see the world over. Like this place Ciney for example. Nah, sorry Cineyans, you do have some beautiful greenery and stone buildings too. But it’s just so green here that I can’t stop marvelling. Nature can be so terribly relaxing in all its “verdant plendour”. I’m a little worried about the cold, white winter approaching.
Hmm, Luxemburg. The most modern hotel out of the three, near the train station. We walked quite a lot again today. Walking is possibly the best form of exercise, but it is not a bludgeonly idiotic idea to take sneakers along. Or anything comfortable to walk in. High heels can certainly be purty, but walking up and down medieval valleys is a bit of a masochistic experience. Which is why you think twice whether you will even try; and more likely than not you won’t – even if later you think you should have. Like you think that you should have woken up at six o’clock and gone for a morning walk, gone to visit all the cathedrals you did not have time to see and the art museums, should have checked what there was in the theatres and the opera... And still you never do. Why does one have to love comfort more than all the new exciting experiences... Tschk, tschk.
But anyway, the European Court of Justice. They had quite nice premises, at least from the inside, from the outside it was again one of those monstrous, big buildings. They had arranged the best welcoming committee and in other ways too had put most effort in meeting us. The library was nice but not really useful for me, because for obvious reasons they did not have much books on legal history. There would have been stuff on appeal procedure, but nothing that could be sensibly checked out in a short time.
So most of us did not stay at the library for that long and we went back to town to take a look around and wait for the dinner in the evening. Luxemburg is a beautiful town – a valley runs through it, which gives the entire place a very specific feeling, a river and a railway follow the valley, a castle is situated higher up and walls and the bastions surround the older centre. Bridges – older and more modern ones – complete the picture. A beautiful place which is worth a short re-visit.
Alright, touristy viewpoints. Mannekin Pis is small – prepare for a Mona-Lisa effect – the main square (Grand Place/Große Markt) of Brussels is tourist-filled even at this time of the year and decently impressive. I’d have to go to improve on art history to be able to tell you which eras and styles the buildings represented. I was disgustingly badly prepared for this week and did not check anything beforehand about the history of any of the cities we visited. There were also no guided tours so history-wise I know not much more about Brussels, Luxemburg or Strasbourg now than I did before. Will do better next time.
What I can say is that among the beautiful old buildings there is an awful amount of ugly new pompous offices. Quite a number of the older houses have also been left to deteriorate – in the hope, we heard, that they would eventually be of such a bad condition, that there was no sense in protecting them and the EU sources could be induced to by them with hard cash and build new buildings in their stead. All of this added to the general south-European colourfulness and did not make Brussels the tidiest of all cities. A nice city, but nowhere you absolutely have to go, since there are plenty of other cities in the world. Try Paris for example, or St. Petersburg, Stockholm or Strasbourg.
The Belgian countryside on the other hand is beautiful. We are on the train now, on our way to Luxemburg. It’s all green hills, picturesque old villages, copses of trees, stone churches and even a castle here and there. Now this is a place where one could live. Absolutely fabulous. Now, why can’t Finnish countryside be like this? I’d be away from the city so fast.
It’s not all as beautiful of course. Reach a place big enough to have a train-station and you get ugly factories and concrete buildings likes of which you’ll see the world over. Like this place Ciney for example. Nah, sorry Cineyans, you do have some beautiful greenery and stone buildings too. But it’s just so green here that I can’t stop marvelling. Nature can be so terribly relaxing in all its “verdant plendour”. I’m a little worried about the cold, white winter approaching.
Hmm, Luxemburg. The most modern hotel out of the three, near the train station. We walked quite a lot again today. Walking is possibly the best form of exercise, but it is not a bludgeonly idiotic idea to take sneakers along. Or anything comfortable to walk in. High heels can certainly be purty, but walking up and down medieval valleys is a bit of a masochistic experience. Which is why you think twice whether you will even try; and more likely than not you won’t – even if later you think you should have. Like you think that you should have woken up at six o’clock and gone for a morning walk, gone to visit all the cathedrals you did not have time to see and the art museums, should have checked what there was in the theatres and the opera... And still you never do. Why does one have to love comfort more than all the new exciting experiences... Tschk, tschk.
But anyway, the European Court of Justice. They had quite nice premises, at least from the inside, from the outside it was again one of those monstrous, big buildings. They had arranged the best welcoming committee and in other ways too had put most effort in meeting us. The library was nice but not really useful for me, because for obvious reasons they did not have much books on legal history. There would have been stuff on appeal procedure, but nothing that could be sensibly checked out in a short time.
So most of us did not stay at the library for that long and we went back to town to take a look around and wait for the dinner in the evening. Luxemburg is a beautiful town – a valley runs through it, which gives the entire place a very specific feeling, a river and a railway follow the valley, a castle is situated higher up and walls and the bastions surround the older centre. Bridges – older and more modern ones – complete the picture. A beautiful place which is worth a short re-visit.
The OMY-European Tour – Day Three – 25th of October
Tuesday – the day to visit the Commission headquarters. Dare I call the building huge? Recently renovated, very clean and sterile – long bare hallways with some attempts to decorate the place with paintings here and there. They have a sauna somewhere too – thanks to Erkki Liikanen. We were up to the commissioners’ floor and based on what we saw, it wasn’t particularly fancy. No wasting money on external extravaganza.
The people we met were really nice, especially P from Legal Services and H from the General Secretary. They had lunch with us in the commission’s cafeteria, which was big, effective and cheap. I ate well with only 3.04 €. In general we have eaten extremely well on this trip. This far (written on Wednesday – see how you can cheat when editing your text later) – full points go to the mozzarella-avocado salad at L’Ultime Atome – excellent place, will recommend it to everyone, situated by the church of S’Boniface near a fascinating African quarter – and the hors d’oeuvres at the Greek restaurant we were at with the representatives of Seula (Finnish EU-lawyers) on Tuesday evening. Lovely.
After the lunch our boys went to the war museum. I’ve been trying to remember whether P said already at the lunch that they were going to do that or whether it was H who told us that when we came from the ladies’ room and the boys had already gone. The difference between whether we had the possibility to go along or not. I had a good day and I am not hundred percent sure I would have gone anyway, since girl-bonding is important too, but history and war... History and war as compared to shopping wins always, with flying colours; history and war as compared to girl-bonding, that depends on the situation.
One of the guys – I heard later – also had remarked something along the lines of “women prefer shopping to museums anyway” (as a reason for not asking us, because if we heard about them going beforehand, it was P who said it in passing and not one of them), and I’m not sure whether I ought to be upset about the comment. I wasn’t when I heard about it, since I took it as a joke. But what if it wasn’t a joke? Do I still have a right to be upset? I mean, it is entirely possible – even probable – that most women DO prefer shopping to going to a war museum – or any museum for that matter. My preferred way of spending the afternoon would have actually also been a visit to the art museum, not the war one. But anyway, if something is true, is it a stereotype? Am I upset – I think I am a little upset after all, right or no – because someone might think of me as a stereotype? Would not acknowledge my individuality, the fact that despite being female I could get far greater kicks out of a war museum than going through shops? Am I upset at women, because they prefer shopping to museums? Am I upset because of my own prejudices; preferring a more gender-neutral society? Am I upset at my own femininity? That I would choose girl-bonding over going to a museum? I did after all choose it instead of going to a museum of any kind.
Okay, this goes under the never-ending identity-debate, which is probably better done somewhere else than here. This journal is turning out to be completely different from what I had originally planned. Where is my light, witty, slightly EU-critical account? Nowhere! Where is anything connected to the trip anyway? This could almost be inner contemplation penned down in a bus coming from a seminar in our own faculty.
The people we met were really nice, especially P from Legal Services and H from the General Secretary. They had lunch with us in the commission’s cafeteria, which was big, effective and cheap. I ate well with only 3.04 €. In general we have eaten extremely well on this trip. This far (written on Wednesday – see how you can cheat when editing your text later) – full points go to the mozzarella-avocado salad at L’Ultime Atome – excellent place, will recommend it to everyone, situated by the church of S’Boniface near a fascinating African quarter – and the hors d’oeuvres at the Greek restaurant we were at with the representatives of Seula (Finnish EU-lawyers) on Tuesday evening. Lovely.
After the lunch our boys went to the war museum. I’ve been trying to remember whether P said already at the lunch that they were going to do that or whether it was H who told us that when we came from the ladies’ room and the boys had already gone. The difference between whether we had the possibility to go along or not. I had a good day and I am not hundred percent sure I would have gone anyway, since girl-bonding is important too, but history and war... History and war as compared to shopping wins always, with flying colours; history and war as compared to girl-bonding, that depends on the situation.
One of the guys – I heard later – also had remarked something along the lines of “women prefer shopping to museums anyway” (as a reason for not asking us, because if we heard about them going beforehand, it was P who said it in passing and not one of them), and I’m not sure whether I ought to be upset about the comment. I wasn’t when I heard about it, since I took it as a joke. But what if it wasn’t a joke? Do I still have a right to be upset? I mean, it is entirely possible – even probable – that most women DO prefer shopping to going to a war museum – or any museum for that matter. My preferred way of spending the afternoon would have actually also been a visit to the art museum, not the war one. But anyway, if something is true, is it a stereotype? Am I upset – I think I am a little upset after all, right or no – because someone might think of me as a stereotype? Would not acknowledge my individuality, the fact that despite being female I could get far greater kicks out of a war museum than going through shops? Am I upset at women, because they prefer shopping to museums? Am I upset because of my own prejudices; preferring a more gender-neutral society? Am I upset at my own femininity? That I would choose girl-bonding over going to a museum? I did after all choose it instead of going to a museum of any kind.
Okay, this goes under the never-ending identity-debate, which is probably better done somewhere else than here. This journal is turning out to be completely different from what I had originally planned. Where is my light, witty, slightly EU-critical account? Nowhere! Where is anything connected to the trip anyway? This could almost be inner contemplation penned down in a bus coming from a seminar in our own faculty.
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