Reading

I finished JM Coetzee’s ”Life and Times of Michael K” today. It’s not a bad book by any standards, but somehow I find his books a little “distant”. It’s like looking at things from a surface and seeing people move underneath, but never being able to reach them or touch them. And yet it is not a superficial book. Coetzee is South-African and he wrote it in 1983 to protest against apartheid. So not a light book, but despite the subject it failed to really move me on an emotional level. I did notice that my knowledge about South-Africa’s past is a little hazy. They kept talking about a war and I had no idea which war there was going on then.

I played a little again and nearly have one song memorised. ;-) I remembered that I borrowed some “self-help” books from the library a couple of weeks ago and dug them up. I read about how to “Be your Best” and found out what Linda Adams thinks you ought to do to stand up for yourself and be less nice. She has some points, but if one was to carry on discussions like she suggests one would sound like a guiltifying bugger, who could not read other people’s emotions and intentions at all. So I don’t think I’m going to be following her advices.

Her style of writing is quite fluent though, so I think I’ll go and finish her book anyway.

...If I can get connected to blogger first...Damn, they are slow sometimes.

Walls and windows

I've spent hours cleaning up today (which wasn't so bad). Also went to the store to get some more healthy food. I've noticed that these two months of living healthily - more or less - has changed my sense of taste. Pineapple juice tastes almost too sweet to drink. Evenings with chocolate, chips, lemonade and others of the same sort have been replaced by evenings with rye-bread, cheese, tomato and honeyed tea. And which one do you think tastes better? Yup. The idea of rye-bread and light cheese makes my mouth water. These days I miss those evening meals of chocolate cake with whipped cream only once a week, if even that often.

There was a long story in the newspaper (or its montly supplement) today about Finnish people living in Goa - some there for good, some only for the winter months. It's a cheap place apparently. With 400 euros you can rent a house and live handsomely for a month. Gazing out at the ocean from your window, taking long walks on the beach - and suffering from diarrhoea-causing amoeba. Amoeba and hippies aside, it still sounded rather wonderful. Would anyone like to spend the first two-three months of the next year in Goa? Or somewhere else equally cheap and warm?

Menace in Europe

I've been reading some stuff from this coughcrazycough American lady, who is a religious conservative with a big chip on her shoulder. Religious conservatives are a bunch of people, whose way of thinking is almost as far from my one as possible. The ones definitely included, who believe that America is the saviour of the world and everyone who doesn't think and act like they do, is automatically an enemy.

Reading stuff from people like that can be an extremely frustrating experience. Sometimes it can be hilarious too. Let me quote this particular woman: "All that said, there is one surpassing reason for Europeans to feel hope: The existence of the United States."

ROFL, I am still laughing at that.

But it's not really funny, is it? There are millions of people out there who believe exactly like she does. And that is why the wars of this world will never end.Very, very frustrating. And sad.

The month of Mars

March is here - and promises to be a busy month. More things in my calendar than in a long while. In order to survive this busy, busy month I have been eating today like a huge famished hog - and naturally not exercising in order not to lose any of those extra calories. Did I mention that when we had that seminar in Lammi a couple of weeks ago, I gained a kilo in two days? I rather fear this might be one of those days too.

It's bloody cold outside. Okay, it's only around minus ten, but it feels like it was a lot more. You would think that as it is already March - even if only the first of the month - it would slowly start getting warmer. I guess one has to wait another month still. I don't actually mind winter as much as I did a couple of years ago, but I still wish the spring/summer would hurry up and get here soon! Still one has to start making summer plans, since the days go by so fast. To stay in town or not to stay in town, that's the question.

Ate nearly a kilo of mandarins today

Started my day at the gym again. I was able to read my fifty pages while using the exercise bike, so that was an hour well spent. This is definitely one of those things that I love about my job; how many other people are able to sit in the sauna at midday - or decide in the morning that I don't want to wake up yet or don't want to go to the office today. All possible with still getting everything done that you were supposed to.

I really will never be able to have a proper 9 to 5 job, am I? Completely spoiled now. (Don't take me wrong though, it's not always just a walk in the park, this job. Can be tremendously stressful sometimes, it can.)

Got my car back. And a present from Paris. Thank you, they're very pretty. And already put to good use. The "Praeludium 1" I haven't tried yet though. ;-) Hey, I can't even play Frère Jacques two-handedly.

Sun still shining

A good day today. I stayed home and fiddled with my dissertation. Now it looks far more sensible again and after I get all my notes inserted, I may just find out that I have written far more than I thought. Eeexcellent. Perhaps one now dares to go “back to the sources” and leave the writing for a little while, despite all my promises. One needs to adjust to the demands of the situation when the occasion so requires after all. Yup, I have to go through all the stuff that I already have and then pick up the phone and reserve a room from the guesthouse of the University of Vaasa once more. Have I mentioned that I really like that place.

I went and bought the headphones today and gave the keyboard a second try. I’m still having serious difficulties in getting right hand play one thing, and the left hand another. Neither have I yet quite mastered the half and quarter notes, and the songs tend to sound a bit unrecognisable. Fun though.

I am also very fond of my new ministereos , which I bought a couple of weeks ago. The sound is nowhere near perfect – big surprise since they were again the cheapest thing that could be found in the store – but so much better than playing cd’s on the computer. Couch, a book, a big cup of tea and something nice playing – is there anything much better than that. I have also to my horror discovered that I really like Coldplay and CMX. Damn, I’m feeling a little traitorous now (inside Rammstein joke, so don’t wonder if you didn’t get it).

Okay, let’s see if I can connect to blogger now.

Sunny Sunday

Beautiful, sunny day today. Couldn't be bothered to go out though. Sundays have definitely become days when I really ought to kick myself, at least if I were to hold myself to those promises I made during New Year's. Too much sitting at the computer and wasting the hours away playing games.

I gave a try to the keyboard today. I didn't manage to buy the headphones yet, so I didn't have a heart to play very long. I can remember how annoying it is when someone is playing, who doesn't know what they are doing. I'm too mindful of the neighbours, aren't I? This doesn't bode well for my "learning to be less nice" -policy.

A person on TV with disgustingly white teeth. Is that supposed to look good? Probably. Well, I guess I have a weird taste anyway when it comes to human beauty.

I am being terribly insightful today, aren't I?

Neglect

I've somehow gotten in the habit of neglecting my poor little blog. I blame the Sudoku. All those happy evenings that I used to spend in front of the TV writing the blog, I now clickety-click away at Sudoku. Hopefully it is really good for logical skills or something such like.

I love Saturdays. Possibly the best part about weekends is that one gets to sleep in. Hmmm, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. Alright, so not the best, but one of the best. That'll do. I love sleeping in.

So I slept in, fed the cat, checked the forum and eventually headed to town. We had a meeting of the Nordic Association, the secretary of which I am supposed to be. I've been a very bad secretary for the past year. Naughty me. I still haven't written some of the protocols of last year's meetings; on the other hand we hardly had any meetings to write protocols about. Now it remains to be seen whether we will get a new board for the association or whether it has reached the end of its short and happy life.

This hasn't been the best week when it comes to healthy life, so I tried to improve the score a little by going to the gym after the meeting. Not enough to counterbalance the doughnuts today and especially all that candy on Thursday. The local movie theatre celebrated their seventh year in business on Thursday and showed movies since 8 o'clock in the morning. Went to see both Casanova and Narnia - and the verdict: they sucked. I assumed that Casanova was going to be serious historical drama, but it turned out to be a romantic comedy with absolutely no sense of history. One of those "let's dress up and pretend that we are 21st century people in pretty historical settings". Narnia on the other hand was exactly what it was written out to be: a moralistic children's fairytale. I guess I just forgot that I am not a child anymore.

considered impromptu decisions

Ha-haa, I did it. Bought the keyboard - it's the cheapest, smallest, crummiest version I could find, but still it has all kinds of exciting functions. Weird tunes and rhythms and who knows what. I still need to buy head-phones so I can properly start to practise.

It's been a good day today. I went to work quite late, since I had to take the car to my sister's after she got back from work. Going to Imatra, she was. I got a number of things done in the morning that I had been putting off for a long time. Cleaning up the cobwebs, real and metaphorical, makes one a happy woman.

Yaaawwwwnn, tired again. I have to go to the shower now.

Byeee.

Go curling-team.

Kalju mies televisiossa

It's been forever since I've last written here. And I have a headache so I'm not going to do a full update now either - involves however seminars, birthday parties, concerts, massages, movies, new mini-stereos, moving furniture around, ups and downs of healthy life, conversations with Jehovah's witnesses and a realisation which I'm going to have to write to S about. Which reminds me that I still have to write nearly all those letters I was planning to write already during Christmas. And a number of other things I really should do. Like getting my tax card updated so I'll get a proper paycheck at least next month. And taking the bloody x'mas tree finally into the basement.

Damn. I keep postponing things again.

As a irrelevant side remark, I realised only a couple of weeks ago that writing x'mas for Christmas is not just being fashionable and "cool", but actually has a point. Replacing Christ with an X, the unknown factor. No longer celebrating something given, authoritative and religious, but something we have to question, something specific and subjective. Simple, yet clever. From now on I'm celebrating x'mas. But realisations aside, my x'mas tree is still standing in the corner and waiting for me to get off my lazy butt!

I am starting to thing that if I had money, I would hire a cleaning person. A personal secretary. A little green bunny-eared rose-smelling slave, who would scurry about and fetch me glistening stars and singing nyads.

Headache.

Cold fun gods

It's cold. Cold now, cold at work. I actually had to read with my gloves on today, which is a bit too much. Must remember to take an extra sweater to work tomorrow or a really big scarf or something.

I was to play squash today for the first time in my life and one can say without hesitation that at first I rather sucked. Eventually though I got the racket to connect with the ball and realised that squash is not a bad way to exercise. I've always thought that the game is about crashing into walls and running oneself breathless, but apparently that is only for pros. For beginners who are more into playing than winning points it is just plain fun.

The world is still going slightly mad and our oh so tolerant religions are proving their toleration to everyone. Is it really much wonder when one considers the origins of our monotheistic religions? Yahweh/Jahve, the god of Jews and Christians, was originally a god of war, Muslims' Allah may or may not be the same god (or perhaps a Moon god with three daughters). Islam is said to have originally meant the strength which characterized a desert warrior who - even when faced with impossible odds - would fight to the death for his tribe. Why wouldn't people with such gods value bloodshed?

Can gods change their minds? Or do people have to learn to think for themselves?

"Good lord! Is it not a silly sort of argument to reckon by the same works that one man is a god whilst his rivals are mere "sorcerers"?"
Celsus, c. 170 CE (Common Era, previously known as AD)

eeny, meeny, miney, mo

- Healthy life is more difficult in town because everyday someone is offering you chocolate or pastries or lunch at a Mexican place.
- If you haven't been to the gym to work out in a year or so, then you're arms are going to ache like a bitch still three days after you start again.
- Imre Kertész's "Kaddish for an Unborn Child" is a dizzying whirlwind of thoughts and mows its way to one's list of favourite books without losing a bit of its strength.
- The cat is much more talkative here than back at Imatra and keeps waking one up every night.
- As a result of aforementioned point and just generally sleeping badly one was too tired last Saturday to watch "Good bye Lenin", which is just generally a bummer.
- When you wish to see a movie and there are places left only in the first row, go watch something else.
- World is going slightly mad and people wish to annihilate each other because of lines on the paper, so never say that pictures or words can't kill.
- Know when it is time to leave the last apple on the tree.

Naked future

You remember when I claimed to be tired yesterday? Well, it turned out that I wasn't physically all that tired after all, since it was 2 o'clock before I went to bed. Yesterday, you see, was the first showing of Rammstein's new video "Mann gegen Mann" on German MTV and one just had to wait until someone posted a copy of it on the net. MGM is their gay-video (pro-gay of course) and most of them are playing naked on it, so...well, one just HAD to wait.

And I can say that it was definitely worth it.

On a totally different note I've realised today that if I actually wish to become a researcher, I have to change my attitude to doing things. I don't know if I have ever really truly hundred-percently believed that I could have a career in research, but now I suddenly do. My financing runs out at the end of this year and now this week there has been talk of couple of hypothetical - very, very hypothetical - options for the next few years. I am not going to tell you about them, since I believe that if you talk of things before they are certain they will never come to pass.

But possibly-never-occuring-hypothetical-options aren't an important thing in themselves. What is important is that they create a future, give person a reason to invest in this job, make it sensible and worthwile suddenly. It is also nice to notice that other people see it as kind of natural that you would and could continue and have faith in your capabilities. Very exciting all of this.

Back in town

I'm home again. Got back yesterday and in a wonderful time of 2 hours 57 minutes. And as always I will admit to speeding only under torture.

House was still in one piece and proper order - except for the fact that I had left the light on in the bathroom and the inevitable mountain of mail.

Today was a busyish day at work: in addition to the usual reading - and writing, which I was happy to get done - I did a thing or two for next week's seminar. Plus there was the board meeting of the institute and the meeting of the comparative circle. And the mail there of course.

I didn't wish to abandon my healthy life either, so I went to the gym for an hour to use the bike, which is why it was after eight before I got home. The cat was happy to see me. And apparently I am now too tired to write anything than morse-style three-word sentences, which is why it is better to put a stop to this asap.

Piano and politics

I had all sorts of plans for how to spend my time when I came here to "babysit" the cats. One of them was to sit down at the piano and see if learning how to play would be fun. The piano has been moved from the living room and is right now behind locked doors in a room, which isn't kept warm (my dad wants to save in the heating costs), so I only remembered that the bloody piano exists earlier this week. And it was only today that I finally decided to give it a try.

I found one of my sister's old "piano for beginners" -types of books after trying to play something a bit more advanced and failing miserably. Starting from the beginning, however, turned out to be a good idea. Now I know a couple of more things about notes, managed to play something elementary two-handed and realised that playing is indeed fun. I am not going to buy meself a piano, but I could invest in a keyboard. For a beginner that's basically the same thing, isn't it?

Hmm, hmm, hmmmm. Couple more hours and we'll know the name of our next president. I still haven't followed the debates very closely, but I can't have helped noticing some of the things expressed in the local newspaper. Imatra has traditionally been a fairly socialdemocratic area and perhaps that's why Niinistö's supporters have been quite vocal in their opinions. I have nothing against Niinistö personally - I'll even admit to finding him rather charming sometimes - but reading the views of some of the people backing him up reminded me clearly why I do not want him to win. I had ever so momentary doubts after the first round because some of the things Halonen said started to annoy me. Then I read the readers' letters and remembered that it is about values.

Now I am sure - fervently hope - that Niinistö, even though being clearly on the right on the economic scale, is still fairly libertarian on the social scale. (If you want to know where you stand, take the following test . Also explains nicely why when grouping people it is not enough to take into consideration the old left-right division, but why you also have to pay attention to where you fit on the authoritarian-libertarian scale. I was happy to find out that my views coincided best with people like Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. Thanks to P for bringing this test into my attention.)

Anyhow, it seems that quite a few of Niinistö's supporters definitely do not belong to the libertarian side, whatever he himself may think. I couldn't read too many of those viewpoints though. Is it because I'm too cowardly? Because I don't want to know that there are so many people who harbour such old-fashioned, intolerant ideas? Because if one were to admit to oneself, that those people do exist - in hordes - then there is always the decision: whether to close one's eyes and let things be or actually try to do something about them. I've never been active or political, but earlier it was mainly because I didn't have too many opinions. I didn't care. Now that I have accumulated some opinions it remains to decide whether one should be more active in promoting them. Or can one convince oneself that it is enough to vote always once in awhile?

Music is good for the soul

I ha've five neeeewww CeeDeehees. Yaaaayyyy!!

I went to the store to get some groceries and started to wonder whether I ought to reward myself - for the healthy life - with some chocolate. After some contemplation I decided that it would be a smarter idea to buy a CD instead, if I now absolutely had to reward myself. One little chocolate bar just makes one mad and a complete cake or something along those lines - which I am quite capable of eating on a one go by myself - might ruin my diet completely. I have no self-control and therefore have to be kind of absolutist about this.

Anyway, headed for the CD-tracks hoping to find SOAD's Mesmerize. I got Hypnotize for X'mas and SOAD is now securily in my top three of favourite bands. They didn't have Mesmerize, but they did have one of their old ones "Steal this album!". Soad's first album "System of a Down" doesn't really appeal to me so much, but I am liking this one a lot. Good stuff. I also got Coldplay's X&Y (yes, naughty me) and some Finnish music: Kotiteollisuus, Children of Bodom and CMX. Yum. The good thing about being stingy is that once you DO want to buy something, you don't have to count the pennies. Plus they were all on sale, so it wasn't as expensive as it could have been.

Now I have to buy stereos.

same-o, same-o

I have been away from here again - mostly because I haven't felt like writing the same thing day in and day out. I mean, is it so interesting how my healthy life is progressing? Going quite well, btw, I have lost nearly 1½ kilos since coming to Imatra and I think I will soon fit into some of my old clothes. I still have three more kilos to go to get to where I was a couple of years ago - put some weight on? who? me? - but I think I may just make it this time (this time refers to the fact that I've been on a diet for the past fifteen years or so. Tschk, tschk.).

I have fallen in love with my ministepper and I am seriously considering torturing my neighbours with it. It's so much fun that I don't know if I can give it up. Especially with the new 2005 tour DVD coming out soon. And all the bootlegs that I have. Ooh, just think of those hours of joy. Poor, poor neighbours.

I have created some babymuscles in my arms - or at least aching that leads me to hope I have - thanks to shoveling (scooping?) snow for the past three days. Pretty long driveway this house has. So far I'm still positively disposed towards all this snow related exercising. Or let's say that it is fun as long as it doesn't take so much time from working that one get's stressed. Hm, that's actually kind of ironic. Work is sitting inside at a computer or lying about on a couch with a book, whereas sweating outside with a snow scoop is recreational.

Okay, now I'll go and see if I could finally finish that book by Günter Grass. Yes, I'm still reading it, but it is pretty long. Kampela it is called - I have no idea what it is in English - and I will thoroughly recommend it to everyone. It's about men and women, relationships through the times, about hunger, and co-dependency, and things that tie us down and prohibit us from growing into what we could be. And a number of other things all expressed in words which keep flowing, flowing, flowing. Beautiful.

Undue influence

The day goes by so fast. I didn’t get my page written today, because today I went to town to vote. And to finally see if there was anything for me in the sales. Politics and shopping. Politics and shopping, which shall we talk about? Politics, shopping, shopping, politics…. Okay, shopping it is. I did buy something today, but nothing that was on sale. Today’s fashions apparently aren’t my thing, which of course is a rather good thing, since then one doesn’t have to spend a fortune on clothing.

Or actually it is quite the opposite, isn't it? The fact that I want clothes, which are at the same time cheap (maximum 20 euros would be good), stylish and good quality, could be said to be a somewhat impossible combination. Maybe I just have to accept the fact that if I wish to have the type of clothes that I want, I have to part with a bit more cash. Which is a bummer, since on some basic level I can’t really see the point in spending money on clothes. I’ll have to start brainwashing myself: “nice clothes are good for your self-esteem, nice clothes are good for your self-esteem…” Or would that just be falling into the mindtraps of advertisers and clothes industry?

I also went to the store in order to get some food – it is more difficult to survive without food than latest fashions, you see – and I realised that most of the food being sold is very unhealthy and greasy and fattening and…stuff. It seems that if one wishes to follow a healthy and nutritious diet one has to learn to cook. Could I do that? A new hobby? Fun maybe? Eating healthy is expensive and time-consuming – and I’m not completely kidding here – but on the other hand it is good for a person. One could claim that subsisting on a couple of pieces of bread and a big bag of candy a day – which is what I have done more than once in the past – is not good for one’s physical and mental health. Yep, I’ll learn how to cook. And it WILL be fun.

Are routines a good thing?

I don’t think I am going to tell you what I have been doing, since it involves books, old court records, clickety clicking the computer, ministeppers, music-DVDs, sauna and healthy food. There isn’t really terribly much one can do here. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that during winter time it is after all better to live in a city. Somewhere where there is more than one movie theatre and public transportation that works. Summer, of course, is another thing completely.

But it ain’t summer yet. It has gotten a little warmer, around minus twelve or so anymore. One might almost think that that smacks of spring. Almost. Might. Like never.

And think that in Australia they are having a heat-wave. 40 degrees Celsius there and here it’s been sixty less. Earth is a weird place.

With this mindblowingly exciting weather report I bid you good night.

Cold, colder, gear sticks freezing

I cannot remember when I have for the last time worked so diligently for five days in a row. Writing, reading and going through the source material every day. I can see why people say that if you want to get something done, you need to get away from the normal surroundings.

It also helps that I'm working on my laptop, which isn't connected to the net here; so no quickies to the net to check sites when one get's bored. The house computer - even if it is fairly new - takes the insanely long time of nearly ten minutes to start, it screws things up if you put it on stand-by and because of some glitch or another, it's virus-databases haven't been updated in nearly a month, and therefore one is not in the habit of clicking it open the very first thing in the morning. Good for working; bad for up-dating the blog, since I usually write in the evenings on the couch while I am watching TV. Of course that is not impossible now either in this marvelous time and age of memory-sticks.

Ooh, speaking of sticks. I used the car today for the first time in a week (went to the store). The car started just fine, but the gear stick had frozen. Nearly broke the damn thing, when I first tried to get it to move. After five minutes' massage-session it finally started to switch gears and after a few more moves it stopped tearing itself from the whatever that part of the car is called. Cold out there, I tell you.

Yeah. Can you tell I haven't done anything even remotely exciting? Since the temperature is still around minus twenty, I have skipped my walks in the past few days. And patted myself on the back for bringing the noisy mini-stepper with me. I have found out that by watching Live aus Berlin or Lichtspielhaus (DVD's of guess which mid-European musical group) I am capable of putting the mini-stepper to good use for an hour and a half, singing most of the time and still not feeling too tired after that. And I can still remember the time when I was absolutely dead after ten minutes... It's a shame though I can't do the same thing at home; the neighbours would go mad.

Or mabbe the old couple living next door to me are secretly fans of hard rock played on full blast and accompanied by an appreciative ministepper. Alas, but even if they were, there is no way they could cope with my singing.