The First official program number. We have arrived – through rain and twisting streets – to the DG Competition. (DG btw stands for Directorate-General – thank you Google again for your generous assistance. I’m not familiar with the Union slang, so I assumed it to be something along the lines of general department.)
Someone from the Merger Policy and Strategic Support Unit is here to tell us about Merger Review. The guy seems really nice, but I’ve never personally had the slightest interest in competition legislation. It’s all very technical and market oriented. Okay, now he said the word which is actually the interesting thing about mergers: consumer-protection. Regulations, measures, requirements and exceptions, conglomerates and vertical mergers don’t move me; what is interesting is why we regulate mergers, what it says about the interests and values of our society? I am rather certain we won’t be discussing that today.
Hmm, he does speak of the goals, but the viewpoint here is efficiency: administrative efficiency, reduction of costs and better allocation of jurisdiction so these could be achieved. Very commission-, state- and company-oriented. Naturally, of course, but I need the individual or community to be involved to get seriously interested myself. It’s intriguing to look at some of the others though and see how excited they are of this theme. That is as it should be: some – however strange it is ;-) – actually prefer spinach soup to chilli chocolate.
I like the informality of this room. Duffy Duck stands in the corner on a windowsill next to a plastic bulldozer and from the other corner a female saint smiles benevolently at both of them and the football in a glass case in the middle. On the wall there is an ad for the movie “Invasion of the Ants” and on the hallway we were greeted by a poster for an Astrid Lindgren-movie. I bet they don’t do their more important negotiations in these premises.
It’s still raining. My feet haven’t dried yet, but they don’t squish anymore either. I liked walking in the rain, even though buying the umbrella was a good idea. I mean really, who could possibly live with panda-eyes, bird’s nest for a hair and clothes soaked to the bone!! ;-) Makes me thing of the time when one was wetter than ever. Thunder, curtain dropping, slow strides to the front of the stage… Okay, back to the reality. No insane grins, when there’s talk about “review and consolidation of the Notices on jurisdiction”.
Coffee-break. I notice that I’ve been working too many times as a seminar secretary. There I go again arranging the coffee table. They had brought in the milk-portions, sugar, tea bags and spoons in a paper bag and left it on the table. Now I definitely like unofficial, but I’m not sure whether this is not just a tad too much. I also notice that in certain situations I like tidiness. As in throwing empty milk-portions to the thrash can half a meter way. ::cough, cough:: girlish, I know.
For some reason I am again wondering if some people here might think that I’m bit of an idiot – you know: harebrained, big blue eyes, decent at organising things, but not necessarily blessed with too much brains. I’d like to think that I’m not an idiot. But, really, would an idiot know that she isn’t an idiot? Or that she is? Would an idiot have knowledge for knowing? Knowing of knowledge? Non-knowledged know-how...
But seriously, I am not capable of expressing my opinions properly in the presence of some people – for various reasons. Sometimes I’ve been known to adapt the wide-eyed, brainless “ooh, aah, reeaally?” attitude, which is why I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if someone did think that I was an idiot.
I am not an idiot – honest. But still I have to ask myself if that harebrained “woman” is truly a part of me. If she is, should I embrace her or try to change myself towards something/someone I am more comfortable with? Is there again a middle way – being more articulate, knowing one’s own mind, but giving up the desire for perfection; the need to know everything, the fear of saying something without thorough knowledge? Having an idiotic opinion, making an idiotic statement always now and then doesn’t make you an idiot.
- Really?
- Yeah, really. Otherwise we would all be idiots.
- Maybe we are.
- Is that your definition of an idiot?
- Mine? I am not worried about being an idiot. I am perfect. Perfection itself. You’re the one moaning about idiocy. So ask yourself what for you is an idiot?
- I don’t know. One who never questions the rationality and sensibility of their thoughts and actions? I don’t know.
- So perfection is idiocy?
- Did I say that? Yeah, maybe.
- Well, then you don’t have to worry. You are not an idiot.
- Oh, bugger off.
Okay, time to move on. The second presentation of the day. Is there something to be drawn from these lectures for my own research? Some questions about uniform applicability, control of national / local courts, being the ultimate guarantor of....(insert your choice of value), parallel competence. Same questions being talked over and over, century after century. Efficiency again. That is what they were mad about already in the 18th century too.
Transparency is also an interesting theme; as a viewpoint to the eternal “legitimation of power” –question. What the attitude towards the need for – the right to? – transparency tells of the state, the rights of and the importance given to its citizens. Yeah, we can think about that for the rest of the evening. I bet.
lokakuuta 30, 2005
The OMY-European Tour – Day One – 23rd of October
The European tour is about to begin. I am standing on the bus stop and waiting. I did not write letters earlier today nor clean. I dropped the cat at my sister’s, checked all the relevant websites and spent an eternity packing. I’m only taking a smallish carry-on luggage with me and it’s naturally quite impossible to know what to take along without trying some clothes on. I was absolutely forced to model for myself a moment or two. I know I tend to bitch about people dressing up, but still it’s just so bloody nice to look a bit more ladylike now and then. Makes one feel almost beautiful.
I needed that – looking pretty. Yesterday, after writing that bit here, I couldn’t tear myself away from the net immediately. So what did I do? I ended up checking the web-sites of some of the forum-people and although some of them made me feel relieved not to be seventeen anymore, some of the others…well, quite an humbling experience, let me tell you that. How can some people have such a way with words, be so artistic, have such interesting lives. It made me troubled again for a moment: that familiar feeling of who do I really want to be. Could one possibly be wasting one’s life sitting on the couch doing puzzles? Not possible, right?
Not that far from the airport now. (I am skipping some stuff I wrote. Moaning that you do not need to see; I’m not actually that slow a writer nor is the ride from my house to the airport that short.) Yup, but it’ll be nice to see people again. Hardly anyone coming from Helsinki though – that, I must say, I find a little disappointing. Interesting how this trip will turn out. These days I try to not have too great expectations, because great expectations mean great disappointments. We’ll see how it goes. Alright, let’s go meet everyone.
On the plane now. Olli Rehn, the Finnish EU commissar, is onboard too. We are going to visit his cabinet on Tuesday, but I don’t know if we are going to meet him. Remains to be seen. He went and waited patiently on the line like everyone else, which was nice to see. No VIP-treatment here.
The food-carts are approaching. Great. I’m seriously getting hungry. Food. I want food...
I am a weird person and usually like airplane-food. This time Finnair doesn’t get full points however. Beef in honey-rosemary sauce sounds good, but wasn’t. The potatoes were wet; you know when you take fried potato-pieces from the freezer and then warm them up. Wet and raw. We were also served plain rye bread, the taste of which can be summed up in one word – dry. And for dessert: one piece of chocolate candy. Well, I am full, fed and feel better, so one can’t complain too much. And the tea was good in any case. I have developed a liking for tea – with milk. Don’t you think I would make a fine Brit?
No-one will ever read this entry. I’ve read some blogs and even if they are funny, one tends to get bored by long entries. Maybe I should just shut up now, since I have nothing exciting to report anyway and start reading my book. Yeah, will let you know more when we reach Brussels – the power capital of the Union.
(later entry) Well, we made it to Brussels and found our hotel. An oldish, smallish, nice one near the centre. We settled in and left to meet famous locals: mussels in Brussels. I’m afraid that I turned out to be a touch finicky and left others to have their mussels and went for something else instead. K let me taste one though, and I must admit that they weren’t half as bad as I thought. Mussels could be new good friends. Or at least acquaintances to be tolerated.
I also promised to take care of the seminar arrangements in the Helsinki end for next year’s Lammi seminar. I should try and keep that from P’s ears, since she rather threatened to hit me on the head, if I would do another seminar instead of concentrating on finishing my dissertation. But I’m really bad at saying no, and it won’t really take that much time. For the work on the first Lammi-seminar I spent weeks, but last year it was only about twenty hours. That’s nothing. Really.
Tonight I have also drunk my first glass of beer. Yes, I admit it; I’ve never done that before. Okay, lemon beer and blackberry beer and something like that, but only and exactly because they don’t taste like beer. I don’t like beer. But tonight I had a real beer – by accident, since the waiter was supposed to bring me a raspberry beer, which he didn’t and since I don’t really believe in complaining... New experiences are good for you anyway. And a blackberry beer afterwards in the bar ;-).
This was not a “wet” trip, for anyone I think. And I definitely belonged to the section which drank less than most, but everything is relative. I never drink much, since coming from an alcoholic family I have problems with drinking and drunks, who can’t behave. There was none in our group, but you never know with other people in the bars... Does that sound Victorian and prudish? Well, I don’t think I really care if it does. Personal history, personal experiences, personal responses. And don’t take me wrong, if you can behave when drinking, there is nothing wrong with it. But anyway, twice to bars this week, other times back to the hotel straight from the restaurants, in bed by midnight every night, if I remember correctly. So thank you, fellow roommate, that worked rather perfectly.
I needed that – looking pretty. Yesterday, after writing that bit here, I couldn’t tear myself away from the net immediately. So what did I do? I ended up checking the web-sites of some of the forum-people and although some of them made me feel relieved not to be seventeen anymore, some of the others…well, quite an humbling experience, let me tell you that. How can some people have such a way with words, be so artistic, have such interesting lives. It made me troubled again for a moment: that familiar feeling of who do I really want to be. Could one possibly be wasting one’s life sitting on the couch doing puzzles? Not possible, right?
Not that far from the airport now. (I am skipping some stuff I wrote. Moaning that you do not need to see; I’m not actually that slow a writer nor is the ride from my house to the airport that short.) Yup, but it’ll be nice to see people again. Hardly anyone coming from Helsinki though – that, I must say, I find a little disappointing. Interesting how this trip will turn out. These days I try to not have too great expectations, because great expectations mean great disappointments. We’ll see how it goes. Alright, let’s go meet everyone.
On the plane now. Olli Rehn, the Finnish EU commissar, is onboard too. We are going to visit his cabinet on Tuesday, but I don’t know if we are going to meet him. Remains to be seen. He went and waited patiently on the line like everyone else, which was nice to see. No VIP-treatment here.
The food-carts are approaching. Great. I’m seriously getting hungry. Food. I want food...
I am a weird person and usually like airplane-food. This time Finnair doesn’t get full points however. Beef in honey-rosemary sauce sounds good, but wasn’t. The potatoes were wet; you know when you take fried potato-pieces from the freezer and then warm them up. Wet and raw. We were also served plain rye bread, the taste of which can be summed up in one word – dry. And for dessert: one piece of chocolate candy. Well, I am full, fed and feel better, so one can’t complain too much. And the tea was good in any case. I have developed a liking for tea – with milk. Don’t you think I would make a fine Brit?
No-one will ever read this entry. I’ve read some blogs and even if they are funny, one tends to get bored by long entries. Maybe I should just shut up now, since I have nothing exciting to report anyway and start reading my book. Yeah, will let you know more when we reach Brussels – the power capital of the Union.
(later entry) Well, we made it to Brussels and found our hotel. An oldish, smallish, nice one near the centre. We settled in and left to meet famous locals: mussels in Brussels. I’m afraid that I turned out to be a touch finicky and left others to have their mussels and went for something else instead. K let me taste one though, and I must admit that they weren’t half as bad as I thought. Mussels could be new good friends. Or at least acquaintances to be tolerated.
I also promised to take care of the seminar arrangements in the Helsinki end for next year’s Lammi seminar. I should try and keep that from P’s ears, since she rather threatened to hit me on the head, if I would do another seminar instead of concentrating on finishing my dissertation. But I’m really bad at saying no, and it won’t really take that much time. For the work on the first Lammi-seminar I spent weeks, but last year it was only about twenty hours. That’s nothing. Really.
Tonight I have also drunk my first glass of beer. Yes, I admit it; I’ve never done that before. Okay, lemon beer and blackberry beer and something like that, but only and exactly because they don’t taste like beer. I don’t like beer. But tonight I had a real beer – by accident, since the waiter was supposed to bring me a raspberry beer, which he didn’t and since I don’t really believe in complaining... New experiences are good for you anyway. And a blackberry beer afterwards in the bar ;-).
This was not a “wet” trip, for anyone I think. And I definitely belonged to the section which drank less than most, but everything is relative. I never drink much, since coming from an alcoholic family I have problems with drinking and drunks, who can’t behave. There was none in our group, but you never know with other people in the bars... Does that sound Victorian and prudish? Well, I don’t think I really care if it does. Personal history, personal experiences, personal responses. And don’t take me wrong, if you can behave when drinking, there is nothing wrong with it. But anyway, twice to bars this week, other times back to the hotel straight from the restaurants, in bed by midnight every night, if I remember correctly. So thank you, fellow roommate, that worked rather perfectly.
Rosenrot
Dii-da-daa-daa-daa, this has been such a rosenrot day… We came back from the European tour yesterday and I am still editing my “journal”. I’ll post it when I’m done, which is hopefully tomorrow. I started today (meaning Saturday, since I note that it’s actually past midnight), but only finished Day One.
I was up early today – relatively, anyway – and already at Myyrmanni at around nine o’clock. Not much later I had my copy of Rosenrot (the limited edition, you will note) in my hands and still a little later I had popped it in the CD-player and my ears were being caressed by the most beautiful voice in the world. I decided to leave doing the groceries and headed towards the forest. A wise choice since dear fellow customers would have thought me an idiot, for the insane goofy smile on my face. Effing brilliant. I love nearly all of the songs. Mann gegen Mann, Rosenrot, Wo bist du, Feuer und Wasser, Zerstören, Spring... The man really sounds better than ever. I’ve listened to the record now at least five times and I think I may have to do the same tomorrow. Dear people, if you don’t have an obsession, go acquire one. Now. A harmless one would be very good. Guaranteed to make you smile or your money back.
Okay, I think I have to leave the computer now. The cat, which I remembered to go and fetch back, seems to have a cold and keeps glancing at me with the sort of “time to go to bed” –look. Probably a good idea.
I was up early today – relatively, anyway – and already at Myyrmanni at around nine o’clock. Not much later I had my copy of Rosenrot (the limited edition, you will note) in my hands and still a little later I had popped it in the CD-player and my ears were being caressed by the most beautiful voice in the world. I decided to leave doing the groceries and headed towards the forest. A wise choice since dear fellow customers would have thought me an idiot, for the insane goofy smile on my face. Effing brilliant. I love nearly all of the songs. Mann gegen Mann, Rosenrot, Wo bist du, Feuer und Wasser, Zerstören, Spring... The man really sounds better than ever. I’ve listened to the record now at least five times and I think I may have to do the same tomorrow. Dear people, if you don’t have an obsession, go acquire one. Now. A harmless one would be very good. Guaranteed to make you smile or your money back.
Okay, I think I have to leave the computer now. The cat, which I remembered to go and fetch back, seems to have a cold and keeps glancing at me with the sort of “time to go to bed” –look. Probably a good idea.
lokakuuta 22, 2005
bored...
Kind of a slightly boring day; one of those when I was planning to do all kinds of things, but ended up doing nothing but cleaning up a little, translating the articles I was supposed to and sitting in front of the TV and doing puzzles. All the more to do for tomorrow then. I need to take the cat to my sister’s, pack, do some more cleaning up, preferably try to write a letter or two and be at the airport by 3.30. We’ll see how that will work out.
It’s raining outside and the wind is rattling the windows. At least it isn’t snowing. There were pics in the news from up north and there were plenty of snow there already. Disgusting. 22nd of December or thereabouts is a good day for it to start snowing, no need for snow earlier than that.
My brains are frozen tonight. I think I’ll just go back to my puzzles now. I very much doubt that I will be able to write from the European tour so I’ll be back again after a week.
It’s raining outside and the wind is rattling the windows. At least it isn’t snowing. There were pics in the news from up north and there were plenty of snow there already. Disgusting. 22nd of December or thereabouts is a good day for it to start snowing, no need for snow earlier than that.
My brains are frozen tonight. I think I’ll just go back to my puzzles now. I very much doubt that I will be able to write from the European tour so I’ll be back again after a week.
lokakuuta 20, 2005
I want to go home
I am cold, tired and I have a headache. It feels like a draft coming from somewhere and a wicked little goblin has moved inside my skull to play “squeeze” with my brains. I want to go home, I want food and something hot to drink, a warm blanket and a movie. I think today is the day when I will finally load the DVD with “Goodbye Lenin” and see if it is as good as everyone says.
Yep, I’m gone as soon as I have written this. Off to see whether the bus or train is today’s choice of transport. I wish I would live as close to the University as my sister. I like their apartment. It’s ten minutes walk from the Uni, you can see the sea from their living room window and it’s all beautiful old buildings, boats of all shapes and sizes, parks and just generally peace and quiet when you go out and walk the dog at night. Okay, my neighbourhood is relatively peaceful too, but there is no way anybody could ever call it beautiful. It’s your typical 70’s suburb, which says it all. Yeah, next time I move, it’s definitely back to the centre or then properly to the country. Now I only have to win the lottery, or I’ll either end up living in a kitchen closet or a hundred kilometres from Helsinki.
Cannot...write...anymore, the goblin has moved into my stomach and has started to devour it. I need food. Apparently three mandarins, one chocolate cookie and some chocolate raisins is not enough for lunch.
Yep, I’m gone as soon as I have written this. Off to see whether the bus or train is today’s choice of transport. I wish I would live as close to the University as my sister. I like their apartment. It’s ten minutes walk from the Uni, you can see the sea from their living room window and it’s all beautiful old buildings, boats of all shapes and sizes, parks and just generally peace and quiet when you go out and walk the dog at night. Okay, my neighbourhood is relatively peaceful too, but there is no way anybody could ever call it beautiful. It’s your typical 70’s suburb, which says it all. Yeah, next time I move, it’s definitely back to the centre or then properly to the country. Now I only have to win the lottery, or I’ll either end up living in a kitchen closet or a hundred kilometres from Helsinki.
Cannot...write...anymore, the goblin has moved into my stomach and has started to devour it. I need food. Apparently three mandarins, one chocolate cookie and some chocolate raisins is not enough for lunch.
lokakuuta 19, 2005
shopping
I’m at my sisters tonight. They left for Barcelona earlier today to visit my other sister and I’m minding the dog for a day. My youngest sister will take care of her for the rest of the week, since I can’t be away from home for so many nights. The cat would never forgive me.
The dos is licking my neck which is slighly annoying. She usually does that only when she is tired, but she seems active enough. Not as insanely energetic as usual, but still active enough. Hmm, spoken too early, I see. She’s actually fallen asleep.
Alright, so today I did prepare myself mentally and went shoe-shopping. In the end I got two pairs of shoes, two handbags and some make-up, since I didn’t really pack properly for this nighting out. Shopping is always a weird experience, since I’m still not certain of my style. There are the opposite ends of the feminine-elegant and the makeup-less, worn jeans and old t-shirts -style. Something in the middle would probably be good once again.
Oops, seems like not everyone else knows how to dress either. Andrea Merkel in TV right now in an absolutely hideous dress. A pink princess-dream, which an adult woman who wishes to be taken seriously should not be caught dead in. Hmm, that was perhaps a bit too categorical, but certain type of women really should not dress in little girly princess-dresses. Not that it really matters how a person dresses, but still clothes are part of the image and message you give out. If you are a public figure, you pretty much have to think about that kind of things too. We mere mortals are luckier.
I’m watching DW, since my sister has cable, which I don’t. There’s some program on about People & Politics and they want to know what the viewers think on the question “Do women approach politics in a different way than men?” They seem to think that Germany’s politics are going to turn into a “softer” direction just because Merkel is going to enter the chancellorship. Do they really think that women can’t be hard? Merkel or no Merkel – and that woman is hardly the softest in the world to have gotten so far – just the fact that the Green party is out and the Conservatives are in should tell anyone that the direction is not going to turn towards anything “softer”.
News in German. I can actually understand some of this. Excellent. There’s the Forum Junger Rechtshistoriker in Frankfurt next May; if I really put some effort into it, maybe I would actually be able to speak German there this time. That would be lovely.
There’s no point to my ramblings tonight, is there? Maybe I should just wake the dog up and take her out for a walk. Jep, Maija, wakey, wakey... Out we go...
The dos is licking my neck which is slighly annoying. She usually does that only when she is tired, but she seems active enough. Not as insanely energetic as usual, but still active enough. Hmm, spoken too early, I see. She’s actually fallen asleep.
Alright, so today I did prepare myself mentally and went shoe-shopping. In the end I got two pairs of shoes, two handbags and some make-up, since I didn’t really pack properly for this nighting out. Shopping is always a weird experience, since I’m still not certain of my style. There are the opposite ends of the feminine-elegant and the makeup-less, worn jeans and old t-shirts -style. Something in the middle would probably be good once again.
Oops, seems like not everyone else knows how to dress either. Andrea Merkel in TV right now in an absolutely hideous dress. A pink princess-dream, which an adult woman who wishes to be taken seriously should not be caught dead in. Hmm, that was perhaps a bit too categorical, but certain type of women really should not dress in little girly princess-dresses. Not that it really matters how a person dresses, but still clothes are part of the image and message you give out. If you are a public figure, you pretty much have to think about that kind of things too. We mere mortals are luckier.
I’m watching DW, since my sister has cable, which I don’t. There’s some program on about People & Politics and they want to know what the viewers think on the question “Do women approach politics in a different way than men?” They seem to think that Germany’s politics are going to turn into a “softer” direction just because Merkel is going to enter the chancellorship. Do they really think that women can’t be hard? Merkel or no Merkel – and that woman is hardly the softest in the world to have gotten so far – just the fact that the Green party is out and the Conservatives are in should tell anyone that the direction is not going to turn towards anything “softer”.
News in German. I can actually understand some of this. Excellent. There’s the Forum Junger Rechtshistoriker in Frankfurt next May; if I really put some effort into it, maybe I would actually be able to speak German there this time. That would be lovely.
There’s no point to my ramblings tonight, is there? Maybe I should just wake the dog up and take her out for a walk. Jep, Maija, wakey, wakey... Out we go...
lokakuuta 18, 2005
shoes and infanticide
I’m feeling lazy. Last week went by so fast and this one is threatening to do the same. I have a number of letters I should write, books to read, articles to translate, shopping to do for next week… We are going to Brussels, Luxemburg and Strasbourg, you see. Does that infamous triangle sound familiar? Yes, it’s the EU-tour of the research school and I am thinking I should be wearing something else than my jeans and sneakers. I have no shoes. I can regress back to the clothes I bought for my short spell in the ministry, but I have absolutely no shoes. Shoes are not my thing, which is why I end up wearing a pair until they disintegrate around my feet. For the current time of the year I have my sneakers and a pair of something brown, which used to belong to my sister and which say “woosh” when you walk around. Both of those options look alright only with my black jeans, which is why I have been wearing my jeans a lot lately. Aargh, I hate shoe-shopping. Shoes are ridiculously expensive. Seriously, if shoes look decent, they either cost a fortune or they will end up killing your feet. Maybe that’s why shoes exist: they hate their lives and get all they joy out of torturing feet. Or it’s a revenge thing against the smelly toes and all their wiggling. Oh well, no hope for it, I guess. But I’m not going shopping today; I’m just not mentally prepared.
What have I been doing today? Reading the general court records from 1800. I’m getting quite familiar with Carl Fredrik Krabbe who keeps asking the court if this or that person convicted of homicide can ask the king for clemency. These records won’t tell what happened to those people. Well, there was that one entry with an order from Stockholm to proceed with the execution of the death penalty: a maid convicted of killing her child. Most of the women who appear in these records are unwed women charged with killing their newborn babies. You didn’t want to find yourself pregnant in those times if you weren’t married; I can tell you that. It’s not just one or two women who decided to kill their little ones and risk the death penalty instead of raising the children in the society of those days. Different times, different values. Were you villains or victims, maid Carin Philipsdotter Philpula, maid Catharina Huttutar, crofter’s wife Maria Mattsdotter Klemola, sailor’s wife Maria Elisdotter Krook and you Valborg Tihotar, locked into a spinning house? Hmm, wives too – does that make you guiltier? What made you do it, Marias?
Those aren’t really my questions dissertation-wise, but I could actually do that. A micro-historical study – an article – about infanticide and the criminal reforms of the enlightenment era, taking the case of one of these women as the starting point. Or a more mentality-oriented study, maybe a sort of a discourse-analysis thingy – the court records and what they tell of the establishment’s / society’s attitudes towards women having children out of wedlock. Oh whee, I’m seriously starting to see the point in doing research still when I’m a gray-haired old little granny and surrounded by a cat-farm.
I will write that article. Not right now, since I have a million other things to do and the dissertation to finish before they stop paying me, but I bloody well will do it. Another ooohhh, if this Norfa-thing is still about practicing to write international articles I know what I will be talking about in April in Iceland. Yay.
Happy, happy joy joy. Okay, enough rejoicing, now home. But first I must wrap up my gorgeous Tilly-pictures, so I can get them home safe and sound. And dry. I put one up on my wall here at work. I must admit it is a weeeee bit distracting, but I’ll give it a chance.
What have I been doing today? Reading the general court records from 1800. I’m getting quite familiar with Carl Fredrik Krabbe who keeps asking the court if this or that person convicted of homicide can ask the king for clemency. These records won’t tell what happened to those people. Well, there was that one entry with an order from Stockholm to proceed with the execution of the death penalty: a maid convicted of killing her child. Most of the women who appear in these records are unwed women charged with killing their newborn babies. You didn’t want to find yourself pregnant in those times if you weren’t married; I can tell you that. It’s not just one or two women who decided to kill their little ones and risk the death penalty instead of raising the children in the society of those days. Different times, different values. Were you villains or victims, maid Carin Philipsdotter Philpula, maid Catharina Huttutar, crofter’s wife Maria Mattsdotter Klemola, sailor’s wife Maria Elisdotter Krook and you Valborg Tihotar, locked into a spinning house? Hmm, wives too – does that make you guiltier? What made you do it, Marias?
Those aren’t really my questions dissertation-wise, but I could actually do that. A micro-historical study – an article – about infanticide and the criminal reforms of the enlightenment era, taking the case of one of these women as the starting point. Or a more mentality-oriented study, maybe a sort of a discourse-analysis thingy – the court records and what they tell of the establishment’s / society’s attitudes towards women having children out of wedlock. Oh whee, I’m seriously starting to see the point in doing research still when I’m a gray-haired old little granny and surrounded by a cat-farm.
I will write that article. Not right now, since I have a million other things to do and the dissertation to finish before they stop paying me, but I bloody well will do it. Another ooohhh, if this Norfa-thing is still about practicing to write international articles I know what I will be talking about in April in Iceland. Yay.
Happy, happy joy joy. Okay, enough rejoicing, now home. But first I must wrap up my gorgeous Tilly-pictures, so I can get them home safe and sound. And dry. I put one up on my wall here at work. I must admit it is a weeeee bit distracting, but I’ll give it a chance.
lokakuuta 12, 2005
Hullut päivät
”Hullut päivät” are here again (that’s the biannual sale of one of the biggest department stores in Finland for those of you, who have never seen the people take to the streets with their yellow plastic bags). I remembered again why I never venture beyond the first floor during the Hullut päivät. I am not that keen on crowds and during the three days there are always plenty. I got some CD’s – S.O.A.D. and Maija Vilkkumaa and...da-daa...Benzin. Having listened to it once I can say that the re-mixes are even worse than I thought, the original is fine but I already had it, nice pics on the booklet but had seen those too and the booklet itself is a cardboard (?) one. The Apocalyptica remix is still called Kerosinii, so no answer to the question whether that is a misspelling or a deliberate choice.
I also got the latest edition of Soundi with a long article about R+. It’s nice, with some good snippets of information, but not the best of interviews – Paul talks a lot, but doesn’t say terribly much this time. I promised to translate it, too.
I also bought some books: Umberto Eco’s “Foucault’s Pendulum”, which sounds fascinating, The Chronicles of Narnia, which I have managed not to read this far, and...a second da-daa...Kalevala, which I also haven’t read. Such gaps in one’s education. I’ve read more of Iliad than of Kalevala, tschk, tschk me. Another question is of course when I will have time to read all these books.
So music, books and chocolate, and some more chocolate, and still more chocolate, and lemon liquorice. Who needs anything else?
I also got the latest edition of Soundi with a long article about R+. It’s nice, with some good snippets of information, but not the best of interviews – Paul talks a lot, but doesn’t say terribly much this time. I promised to translate it, too.
I also bought some books: Umberto Eco’s “Foucault’s Pendulum”, which sounds fascinating, The Chronicles of Narnia, which I have managed not to read this far, and...a second da-daa...Kalevala, which I also haven’t read. Such gaps in one’s education. I’ve read more of Iliad than of Kalevala, tschk, tschk me. Another question is of course when I will have time to read all these books.
So music, books and chocolate, and some more chocolate, and still more chocolate, and lemon liquorice. Who needs anything else?
lokakuuta 11, 2005
process writing
It was so foggy this morning that I could hardly see anything from the window. For a moment I wondered whether it was snowing outside. But no, still as warm as it has been for weeks. It is – as the venerable newspaper tells us – so warm that this kind of weather in October occurs only once in about a hundred years.
I went to work a little later than usual and walked to the railway station in Myyrmäki. The teenagers of the local junior highschool were on recess and I had a sudden horrid 80’s flashback. Some of their clothes were really…..weird. Or maybe I’m just getting old.
This was again one of those not the most productive of days – I had lunch with E, coffee with H and practised my Swedish. That’s useful isn’t it? Languages are always important. Right? Even if the practise consists of translating you know what. The net community was happy. ;-)
Thankfully we did also have the post-graduate seminar today. Nothing strictly scientific, but a lecture on process writing instead. Some excellent suggestions, which I am going to try out tomorrow. Let’s see if I can draw mind maps. Maybe I could figure out whether there is some point in my idea for the third, appeal-chapter; I had thought of concentrating on the process of establishing the correctness of a court case and on how during different times it has been understood to be possible to arrive at the truth. What is the “measuring stick” against which you scrutinise an appealed case during the era of law of nature? How do the changes in the epistemology of truth – can one say so – affect the superior courts? It’s such a mess in my head still. First thing I should do is probably to read Kevät’s book again and see how much exactly she has written about all of that already. I don’t remember, but obviously I can’t be redoing what she has already done.
There is always talk about time management during process writing -courses too. It got me seriously thinking about my working hours on my way to home. I am completely free to decide when I work. If I would wish to sleep during the days and work at night I could do that. That’s not what I want, but I could live more accordingly to my natural rhythm. During holidays I tend to go to bed after midnight and get up later. I could do that. And I have trouble concentrating on reading at work, which is why I could read at home. It seems to be the easiest for me to read during the evenings, whereas writing is better in the morning. Afternoons are not so good for me concerning anything that requires brains. Maybe I could seriously try that. Get up a little later, go to work for maybe four hours, then do some sports, fiction, have a life, and then read for another three to four hours during the evenings. Ooh, that sounds rather brilliant. I would try it already tomorrow, but there’s the compa-seminar on the afternoon and I’m going. I can’t do it on Thursday either, because there is the movie and on Friday we are going to Imatra again; well, next week then.
Ok, I’ll try to do some translating again before I fall asleep.
I went to work a little later than usual and walked to the railway station in Myyrmäki. The teenagers of the local junior highschool were on recess and I had a sudden horrid 80’s flashback. Some of their clothes were really…..weird. Or maybe I’m just getting old.
This was again one of those not the most productive of days – I had lunch with E, coffee with H and practised my Swedish. That’s useful isn’t it? Languages are always important. Right? Even if the practise consists of translating you know what. The net community was happy. ;-)
Thankfully we did also have the post-graduate seminar today. Nothing strictly scientific, but a lecture on process writing instead. Some excellent suggestions, which I am going to try out tomorrow. Let’s see if I can draw mind maps. Maybe I could figure out whether there is some point in my idea for the third, appeal-chapter; I had thought of concentrating on the process of establishing the correctness of a court case and on how during different times it has been understood to be possible to arrive at the truth. What is the “measuring stick” against which you scrutinise an appealed case during the era of law of nature? How do the changes in the epistemology of truth – can one say so – affect the superior courts? It’s such a mess in my head still. First thing I should do is probably to read Kevät’s book again and see how much exactly she has written about all of that already. I don’t remember, but obviously I can’t be redoing what she has already done.
There is always talk about time management during process writing -courses too. It got me seriously thinking about my working hours on my way to home. I am completely free to decide when I work. If I would wish to sleep during the days and work at night I could do that. That’s not what I want, but I could live more accordingly to my natural rhythm. During holidays I tend to go to bed after midnight and get up later. I could do that. And I have trouble concentrating on reading at work, which is why I could read at home. It seems to be the easiest for me to read during the evenings, whereas writing is better in the morning. Afternoons are not so good for me concerning anything that requires brains. Maybe I could seriously try that. Get up a little later, go to work for maybe four hours, then do some sports, fiction, have a life, and then read for another three to four hours during the evenings. Ooh, that sounds rather brilliant. I would try it already tomorrow, but there’s the compa-seminar on the afternoon and I’m going. I can’t do it on Thursday either, because there is the movie and on Friday we are going to Imatra again; well, next week then.
Ok, I’ll try to do some translating again before I fall asleep.
lokakuuta 10, 2005
The Archive pics
Here is finally an example of the pics I took at the Land-archives in Vaasa a couple of weeks ago. I've just spent a couple of hours trying to decipher few of the pages. Somewhat slow going I must say ;-).
lokakuuta 09, 2005
daydreaming and decisions
One can’t be busy and dutiful all the time, can one? I was yesterday; I read a book about history of human rights and part of an anthology – can you call a selection of scientific writings an anthology? – about enlightenment (Horkheimer, Foucault, Habermas, those dudes). More than 350 pages altogether – I was rather pleased with myself. I had the best plans to continue today with another 300-pager about the intellectual foundations of modern culture, but somehow I haven’t managed a page yet.
I got up at ten, fed the cat and spent nearly two hours having breakfast, reading the paper and generally day-dreaming. Then I was slowly heading towards the couch and the modernity-book, when my sister sent me a SMS and asked whether I’d be interested in going to my other sister’s this evening to make pizza. I contemplated for an entire second and replied promptly that sure, I’ll come. I looked at the watch, realised that there was no way I was going to be able to read that entire book today and decided that I might as well do something more relaxing first and possibly skim the book later.
This entire messaging and decision-making had interrupted a terribly important and lively discussion going on in my head. I can’t remember anymore what exactly it had to do with, but as a result I was forced to open the computer and go through most of my Rammstein-picture collection. I think it probably had something to do with men and how they can look at their best. Since now there was no way I was going to be able to get knowledgeable enough about Mr. Dupré’s ideas about enlightenment’s effects on modernity, I decided to watch a couple of concert shots too, and both of the long MTV Rammstein-specials. And the VIVA-one so it wouldn’t have felt neglected.
And now it is nearly four o'clock. I have managed to feed myself, enforce my Rammsteinian-addiction, finish a number of Japanese puzzles (another obsession in making) and... well, I suppose that’s it, but does one really need to do more on a Sunday? Even if there is a seminar one is supposed to be teaching Monday at 8 o’clock? But it’s not like I actually HAVE to give the students this book to read. They have plenty already and this is definitely another one of those “old, dead, smart guys” books. The course is supposed to be history, not philosophy or theory after all. Yeah, they are not getting this book! I’m keeping it; I’ll just read it for myself later. You can thank Rammstein for not having to go through 300 pages of Kant, Lessing, Heidegger and Herder, children.
- Oh dear, just because you are drooling after...
- SHUT UP!
- Ouch, woman! Save my ears! What’s the big deal, everyone knows that...
- Everyone knows nothing. And let’s keep it that way. Did you have a point?
- I was just commenting on the fickleness of your decision making. How on the basis of your...on the basis of something so completely irrelevant you make decisions like these.
- So?
- So nothing. I just thought it was interesting.
- Well, life is.
- Fine.
- Fine.
I got up at ten, fed the cat and spent nearly two hours having breakfast, reading the paper and generally day-dreaming. Then I was slowly heading towards the couch and the modernity-book, when my sister sent me a SMS and asked whether I’d be interested in going to my other sister’s this evening to make pizza. I contemplated for an entire second and replied promptly that sure, I’ll come. I looked at the watch, realised that there was no way I was going to be able to read that entire book today and decided that I might as well do something more relaxing first and possibly skim the book later.
This entire messaging and decision-making had interrupted a terribly important and lively discussion going on in my head. I can’t remember anymore what exactly it had to do with, but as a result I was forced to open the computer and go through most of my Rammstein-picture collection. I think it probably had something to do with men and how they can look at their best. Since now there was no way I was going to be able to get knowledgeable enough about Mr. Dupré’s ideas about enlightenment’s effects on modernity, I decided to watch a couple of concert shots too, and both of the long MTV Rammstein-specials. And the VIVA-one so it wouldn’t have felt neglected.
And now it is nearly four o'clock. I have managed to feed myself, enforce my Rammsteinian-addiction, finish a number of Japanese puzzles (another obsession in making) and... well, I suppose that’s it, but does one really need to do more on a Sunday? Even if there is a seminar one is supposed to be teaching Monday at 8 o’clock? But it’s not like I actually HAVE to give the students this book to read. They have plenty already and this is definitely another one of those “old, dead, smart guys” books. The course is supposed to be history, not philosophy or theory after all. Yeah, they are not getting this book! I’m keeping it; I’ll just read it for myself later. You can thank Rammstein for not having to go through 300 pages of Kant, Lessing, Heidegger and Herder, children.
- Oh dear, just because you are drooling after...
- SHUT UP!
- Ouch, woman! Save my ears! What’s the big deal, everyone knows that...
- Everyone knows nothing. And let’s keep it that way. Did you have a point?
- I was just commenting on the fickleness of your decision making. How on the basis of your...on the basis of something so completely irrelevant you make decisions like these.
- So?
- So nothing. I just thought it was interesting.
- Well, life is.
- Fine.
- Fine.
lokakuuta 07, 2005
Benzin
Rammstein’s new single was supposed to be out today, but the stores were a big black hole. They told me to come back next week, around Wednesday or so. Buahaa, I wanted the single today, not next week. I don’t particularly like singles, I have no interest in remixes and I have heard Benzin already a number of times. It’s not even among my favourite Rammstein-songs by a long stretch, but still I wanted it.
So no Benzin; one good interview though, with Schneider. He has such smart things to say.
In addition to this being the day of Benzin with no Benzin, today was also about the last day of the drama course. The plays were excellent again. My group had gotten their togas out and I think they had managed to incorporate the legal elements into their play better than any of the groups I have seen in three years. It was still funny, and so was the play of the other group too. Theirs was about bastards, murder and an inheritance in 15th century Florence. Drama courses are possibly the best form of teaching there is – at least they are the funniest by far.
We also decided to switch the cases for the Enlightenment course since I won’t be here during the last session. So that means that I have to have my second case ready for Monday. I wrote the first version today, so that’s no problem. What is the problem is the fact that I haven’t really read anything about the human rights -development or the entire modernity-discussion yet. If I wish to do things properly I ought to read three-four books before Monday morning. I think I know what I will be doing this weekend.
So no Benzin; one good interview though, with Schneider. He has such smart things to say.
In addition to this being the day of Benzin with no Benzin, today was also about the last day of the drama course. The plays were excellent again. My group had gotten their togas out and I think they had managed to incorporate the legal elements into their play better than any of the groups I have seen in three years. It was still funny, and so was the play of the other group too. Theirs was about bastards, murder and an inheritance in 15th century Florence. Drama courses are possibly the best form of teaching there is – at least they are the funniest by far.
We also decided to switch the cases for the Enlightenment course since I won’t be here during the last session. So that means that I have to have my second case ready for Monday. I wrote the first version today, so that’s no problem. What is the problem is the fact that I haven’t really read anything about the human rights -development or the entire modernity-discussion yet. If I wish to do things properly I ought to read three-four books before Monday morning. I think I know what I will be doing this weekend.
lokakuuta 06, 2005
non-heteronormative violence
Not the most productive of days, but I try to get something read still today. I have a big stack of books just waiting for me... I think they are getting lonely and bored all alone.
Kristiina Insitute for Women’s Studies and a few other organisers had arranged a seminar on non-heteronormative violence and I went to listen to the first session. The guest speaker was Lori Girshick from the States who was talking about her book "Woman-to-Woman Sexual Violence: Does She Call It Rape” which was as the title suggests about sexual abuse in a Lesbian context. It was a very good presentation.
She’s a sociologist, so she had of course some interesting case data. What got me thinking though, was what she said about the need for concepts and context through which to interpret something that has happened. She was talking about women who had been sexually assaulted by other women and who could not properly deal with what had happened since – at least prior to her book – the whole issue was more or less ignored. There was no terminology for lesbian rape. Does that mean that if there are no concepts, no context, an event “has not happened”; that what has happened is something that the pre-existing concepts do cover? Because we value things through concepts it is not totally irrelevant, whether we talk of abuse or rape, teasing or bullying, improper behaviour or harassment and so on.
She was also talking about the need to acknowledge the fact that women can be violent too. That there are women, who are just as capable of jealousy, obsessive behaviour and violence as men; that being in the company of women does not guarantee that you are “safe”. This may not be very PC (that’s “politically correct” – did someone say you won’t learn new things reading Rammstein-interviews), but I started to wonder whether we create “the violent woman” in the process of acknowledging women’s violence. With men there is the tendency to start from the assumption that many men are prone to violence and accept that with a sort of “boys will be boys” –mentality. Isn’t there the danger of doing the same for women in this process? Do we create something new or do we just acknowledge what already exists, but is hidden and unspoken? Would it be possible by acknowledging women’s violence to put the focus on non-violence as the norm for both genders and see the violent behaviour as a real deviation? No more of the tacit acceptance that the media spreads?
I haven’t processed that thoroughly, but maybe you get what I mean. I also had an idea during that seminar for a possible story. I think I’ll write it. If it ends up being a short story, then it will, but I want to see if I can write something with a real plot. Beginning, middle and an end; something other than just random thoughts.
I actually found one of my old random thoughts –writings today. I was looking for an old version of my licentiate thesis and I came across it by accident – I had completely forgotten about ever writing that. I rather liked it, but it reminded me of the days when I wasn’t that happy with life or myself. I had already posted it on my other blog, but then I went and deleted it. I'm practising self-criticism in a good sense ;-) Sometimes it's good to remember to keep some things to oneself.
Alrighty, if I am going to still read something today, it has to be now. What is there...
Kristiina Insitute for Women’s Studies and a few other organisers had arranged a seminar on non-heteronormative violence and I went to listen to the first session. The guest speaker was Lori Girshick from the States who was talking about her book "Woman-to-Woman Sexual Violence: Does She Call It Rape” which was as the title suggests about sexual abuse in a Lesbian context. It was a very good presentation.
She’s a sociologist, so she had of course some interesting case data. What got me thinking though, was what she said about the need for concepts and context through which to interpret something that has happened. She was talking about women who had been sexually assaulted by other women and who could not properly deal with what had happened since – at least prior to her book – the whole issue was more or less ignored. There was no terminology for lesbian rape. Does that mean that if there are no concepts, no context, an event “has not happened”; that what has happened is something that the pre-existing concepts do cover? Because we value things through concepts it is not totally irrelevant, whether we talk of abuse or rape, teasing or bullying, improper behaviour or harassment and so on.
She was also talking about the need to acknowledge the fact that women can be violent too. That there are women, who are just as capable of jealousy, obsessive behaviour and violence as men; that being in the company of women does not guarantee that you are “safe”. This may not be very PC (that’s “politically correct” – did someone say you won’t learn new things reading Rammstein-interviews), but I started to wonder whether we create “the violent woman” in the process of acknowledging women’s violence. With men there is the tendency to start from the assumption that many men are prone to violence and accept that with a sort of “boys will be boys” –mentality. Isn’t there the danger of doing the same for women in this process? Do we create something new or do we just acknowledge what already exists, but is hidden and unspoken? Would it be possible by acknowledging women’s violence to put the focus on non-violence as the norm for both genders and see the violent behaviour as a real deviation? No more of the tacit acceptance that the media spreads?
I haven’t processed that thoroughly, but maybe you get what I mean. I also had an idea during that seminar for a possible story. I think I’ll write it. If it ends up being a short story, then it will, but I want to see if I can write something with a real plot. Beginning, middle and an end; something other than just random thoughts.
I actually found one of my old random thoughts –writings today. I was looking for an old version of my licentiate thesis and I came across it by accident – I had completely forgotten about ever writing that. I rather liked it, but it reminded me of the days when I wasn’t that happy with life or myself. I had already posted it on my other blog, but then I went and deleted it. I'm practising self-criticism in a good sense ;-) Sometimes it's good to remember to keep some things to oneself.
Alrighty, if I am going to still read something today, it has to be now. What is there...
lokakuuta 05, 2005
Cats and dogs
I had a good day again today. It was a beautiful day too – really warm considering the time of year.
I met Rasmus – the most adorable little puppy in the world. He’s a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier (now isn’t that a mouthful). If I were to get a dog, I think I might just want one like him. Somehow I doubt that the cat would be very happy to get a dog for a friend though. And my days are too often too long, for it to be fair for a dog. Cats manage better alone, although I can tell that the cat likes company too.
I finished the book about the Enemies of Enlightenment and started an article about legal certainty, which gave me an idea for the third chapter of my dissertation. I also started to appreciate more the need to really process what you read. I am not incapable of producing ideas if I take the time to think. Gives one confidence, that kind of thing. I really am glad to be back at the university.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy just started. I just realised that I’ve never seen this from the beginning. I think I’ll stop thinking now. Queer eye and Japanese puzzles for tonight. And tea with honey. Yay!
I met Rasmus – the most adorable little puppy in the world. He’s a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier (now isn’t that a mouthful). If I were to get a dog, I think I might just want one like him. Somehow I doubt that the cat would be very happy to get a dog for a friend though. And my days are too often too long, for it to be fair for a dog. Cats manage better alone, although I can tell that the cat likes company too.
I finished the book about the Enemies of Enlightenment and started an article about legal certainty, which gave me an idea for the third chapter of my dissertation. I also started to appreciate more the need to really process what you read. I am not incapable of producing ideas if I take the time to think. Gives one confidence, that kind of thing. I really am glad to be back at the university.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy just started. I just realised that I’ve never seen this from the beginning. I think I’ll stop thinking now. Queer eye and Japanese puzzles for tonight. And tea with honey. Yay!
lokakuuta 04, 2005
Rumours
Hot shower, tea with honey, apple pie with whipped cream – what could be better? Half of the Enemies of Enlightenment read and I am feeling good about myself. A girl in the TV who sounds like me. I have started to like documentaries. I am feeling happy this evening.
I started to think about what I wrote earlier today. About rumours and spreading them. Is it enough to mention that a thing is a rumour, if you pass it on anyway? Especially as publicly (potentially) as here. Is one allowed to trust in the readers and their capability to question and weigh things for themselves? There have always been people who believe that something is true if it is written down. No matter if it is written critically and questioned, they still think that there must be an essence of truth behind it. In this one may safely assume that the human nature is not very quick to change.
Does that mean that the writer must always take responsibility for those of her/his readers who do not read critically? Maybe it is not possible to answer that categorically one way or the other. One has to weigh the reasons behind spreading rumours with the consequences that accepting them uncritically or misunderstanding them can cause. The reasons, the intent can also mean the difference between spreading rumours and discussing them. It is impossible to judge the validity or invalidity of the rumour without investigating the arguments for and against its truthfulness. If you do not do that, then we are closer to just spreading rumours and in order for that to be acceptable, the reasons behind the action have to be acceptable as well.
...The cat IS interested in the animals on TV. There’s a program on about smuggling of dogs or something like that and she is watching it again. How weird. And I’m weird because I feel guilty changing the channel when the cat is watching the dog-program...
Yeah, but back to rumours. Is it enough that one’s intent is not malicious in spreading rumours? That is such an easy excuse: “I didn’t really mean anything bad by it...” No, I suppose that’s not enough. What then constitutes an acceptable reason? It is very difficult to speak of spreading knowledge when passing on rumours, since the accuracy of the facts is questionable in the first place. One may perhaps speak of spreading information, since information does not have to be correct. That is not really an answer though, since what is spreading rumours by that kind of definition other than spreading information. So again it is acceptable only if your intentions are acceptable.
One of the most important reasons for spreading rumours in the sense of gossiping is said to be the strengthening of a group’s solidarity. But what about spreading rumours when there is no social group? Or is there always one, even if it is an imaginary one? Do we create the group in our mind, even when its existence is not apparent?
Does any of this lead anywhere? Except the moral lesson that one ought to be more careful when talking about things, which accuracy one is not sure of.
I started to think about what I wrote earlier today. About rumours and spreading them. Is it enough to mention that a thing is a rumour, if you pass it on anyway? Especially as publicly (potentially) as here. Is one allowed to trust in the readers and their capability to question and weigh things for themselves? There have always been people who believe that something is true if it is written down. No matter if it is written critically and questioned, they still think that there must be an essence of truth behind it. In this one may safely assume that the human nature is not very quick to change.
Does that mean that the writer must always take responsibility for those of her/his readers who do not read critically? Maybe it is not possible to answer that categorically one way or the other. One has to weigh the reasons behind spreading rumours with the consequences that accepting them uncritically or misunderstanding them can cause. The reasons, the intent can also mean the difference between spreading rumours and discussing them. It is impossible to judge the validity or invalidity of the rumour without investigating the arguments for and against its truthfulness. If you do not do that, then we are closer to just spreading rumours and in order for that to be acceptable, the reasons behind the action have to be acceptable as well.
...The cat IS interested in the animals on TV. There’s a program on about smuggling of dogs or something like that and she is watching it again. How weird. And I’m weird because I feel guilty changing the channel when the cat is watching the dog-program...
Yeah, but back to rumours. Is it enough that one’s intent is not malicious in spreading rumours? That is such an easy excuse: “I didn’t really mean anything bad by it...” No, I suppose that’s not enough. What then constitutes an acceptable reason? It is very difficult to speak of spreading knowledge when passing on rumours, since the accuracy of the facts is questionable in the first place. One may perhaps speak of spreading information, since information does not have to be correct. That is not really an answer though, since what is spreading rumours by that kind of definition other than spreading information. So again it is acceptable only if your intentions are acceptable.
One of the most important reasons for spreading rumours in the sense of gossiping is said to be the strengthening of a group’s solidarity. But what about spreading rumours when there is no social group? Or is there always one, even if it is an imaginary one? Do we create the group in our mind, even when its existence is not apparent?
Does any of this lead anywhere? Except the moral lesson that one ought to be more careful when talking about things, which accuracy one is not sure of.
Evaluation
There is an evaluation of the university’s research activities going on and we’ve been asked to stay at work until 17.00 in case the evaluators will come to visit the institute. I doubt I would be here otherwise anymore. I came early again because of the enlightenment-course and even though I took the time to write a non-work related letter after it, I still think the day has been long enough. I could use the time to read, but I’m so tired again that I start to fall asleep as soon as I’ve managed a page or two. I doubt the evaluators will even come, but who knows.
I hope that they are at least being thorough with the rest of the faculty. I heard a rumour today, that one of them wouldn’t be taking the job very seriously and would be using this opportunity basically for tourism and advancing own research interests. Their report has an influence on how much money we will be getting, so it’s rather troubling if one of the evaluators won’t take part in the whole process. I wonder if it would be good or bad for the faculty if I should mention about this in the odd chance that I should ran again into some of the people in the money-distributing end. Is it the task of the university to control that the people evaluating them are doing their job properly? Hmm, maybe it is just a rumour, a misunderstanding, and the person in question is busy evaluating and not taking sightseeing tours. One may hope.
Another fifteen minutes and then I’m going home. I have Bernhard Schlink’s the Reader with me and I think I will be able to finish it in the train. I remember that French girl speaking about it in Frankfurt. When was it, three years ago? I don’t remember her name anymore, but I think it must have been that afternoon we went to visit the Goethe-museum. She had heard a rumour – always rumours – that Bernhard Schlink was really M. S. Or was it that M. S. was really the man in the book, Michael Berg? Yes, I think that was it, that Schlink was writing the story of his friend M. S., when he was writing about Michael and Hanna. I doubt it’s true. I cannot see anything of the book’s Michael in the other one.
I like the book. It doesn’t flow easily and it is not always easy to lose oneself in it, but I think it may be partly the translations fault. I’m sure it would be better to read it in German, but I don’t quite trust my language skills yet. I’ve read two books in German by now, but they were rather easy ones. I’m still at about page ten with that book by Imre Kertész I started months ago and I think Schlink is probably more in his league than the other two. Oh, who knows, who cares. I’m reading it in English and that’s all there is to it. The book is about dealing with guilt (personal and collective), building identities, feeling abandoned and hurt by love. One of them books that deserves contemplation. I probably ought to finish it though before I start analysing it too much.
Yup, it’s five o’clock. The evaluators – I hear – were here for about two minutes, but they never made a tour or wanted to talk to the researchers. It would be interesting to know if they were all here or not. I’ll ask tomorrow – maybe – but now I’ll go home, see what else I got from the library yesterday and eat some of the apple pie I baked.
- Tschk, girl, you were supposed to finish that book about the enemies of Enlightenment!
- I’ll read it tomorrow. There’s still almost two hundred pages to go and I am too tired to read it today.
- You’ve been too tired for the past five days, you lazy buffoon. Take it home! No touching Schlink or apple pie before you’ve read at least half of it.
- Come on! I’ve been at work for almost nine and a half hours already.
- Yep, out of which you have spent more than four doing something that doesn’t really smack of work. Right? Am I right or wrong? Huh? Right?
- Fine, I’ll read half of it, but not a word more.
- That a girl.
- OH, SHUT UP!!!
I hope that they are at least being thorough with the rest of the faculty. I heard a rumour today, that one of them wouldn’t be taking the job very seriously and would be using this opportunity basically for tourism and advancing own research interests. Their report has an influence on how much money we will be getting, so it’s rather troubling if one of the evaluators won’t take part in the whole process. I wonder if it would be good or bad for the faculty if I should mention about this in the odd chance that I should ran again into some of the people in the money-distributing end. Is it the task of the university to control that the people evaluating them are doing their job properly? Hmm, maybe it is just a rumour, a misunderstanding, and the person in question is busy evaluating and not taking sightseeing tours. One may hope.
Another fifteen minutes and then I’m going home. I have Bernhard Schlink’s the Reader with me and I think I will be able to finish it in the train. I remember that French girl speaking about it in Frankfurt. When was it, three years ago? I don’t remember her name anymore, but I think it must have been that afternoon we went to visit the Goethe-museum. She had heard a rumour – always rumours – that Bernhard Schlink was really M. S. Or was it that M. S. was really the man in the book, Michael Berg? Yes, I think that was it, that Schlink was writing the story of his friend M. S., when he was writing about Michael and Hanna. I doubt it’s true. I cannot see anything of the book’s Michael in the other one.
I like the book. It doesn’t flow easily and it is not always easy to lose oneself in it, but I think it may be partly the translations fault. I’m sure it would be better to read it in German, but I don’t quite trust my language skills yet. I’ve read two books in German by now, but they were rather easy ones. I’m still at about page ten with that book by Imre Kertész I started months ago and I think Schlink is probably more in his league than the other two. Oh, who knows, who cares. I’m reading it in English and that’s all there is to it. The book is about dealing with guilt (personal and collective), building identities, feeling abandoned and hurt by love. One of them books that deserves contemplation. I probably ought to finish it though before I start analysing it too much.
Yup, it’s five o’clock. The evaluators – I hear – were here for about two minutes, but they never made a tour or wanted to talk to the researchers. It would be interesting to know if they were all here or not. I’ll ask tomorrow – maybe – but now I’ll go home, see what else I got from the library yesterday and eat some of the apple pie I baked.
- Tschk, girl, you were supposed to finish that book about the enemies of Enlightenment!
- I’ll read it tomorrow. There’s still almost two hundred pages to go and I am too tired to read it today.
- You’ve been too tired for the past five days, you lazy buffoon. Take it home! No touching Schlink or apple pie before you’ve read at least half of it.
- Come on! I’ve been at work for almost nine and a half hours already.
- Yep, out of which you have spent more than four doing something that doesn’t really smack of work. Right? Am I right or wrong? Huh? Right?
- Fine, I’ll read half of it, but not a word more.
- That a girl.
- OH, SHUT UP!!!
lokakuuta 01, 2005
Interior decorating
The cat just spent about twenty minutes watching a nature documentary. I don’t know if she was interested in the sounds or the animals. I thought it was the birds at first, but she seemed to like the elephants and foxes just as much. Detective stories clearly aren’t her thing; she left as soon as the documentary was over.
I shouldn’t start to watch this either. It’s almost eight o’clock, so it’s time for sauna. Well, it was later than I thought. I’m back now, all fresh and clean. Going to sauna is always just as good and relaxing – well, figuratively speaking anyway: it can hardly be just as good and relaxing every single time. The sauna in our building isn’t the most comfortable in the world; it’s clean, it’s functional, but it has kind of clinical, cold feeling about it. Well, it’s still a sauna.
There’s a Jude Law –movie on TV tonight, but I don’t know if I am too tired to watch it. We did have the party yesterday and it was just after one o’clock before I was home; before I was ready for bed it was closer to two. I didn’t have anywhere to go this morning, but I couldn’t sleep anymore after nine. So I got up, discovered that there is something wrong with my toaster, that most of the tomatoes had already gone bad, read the newspaper and had to tell the cat to move just once. The kitchen table is almost the only place from where she can look out, so she is allowed there. It’s slightly annoying only when I’m trying to read the paper and she feels like she absolutely has to be petted. Or when she gets interested in the food.
We went to Ikea today – and were not the only ones there. The lines were still moderately short and I don’t think we stood there for more than 10-15 minutes. I didn’t get anything big: a small rug, light bulbs, batteries, that sort of stuff. I haven’t managed to come back from there with so little in a long time. My apartment is really starting to look like a model case for Ikea.
I think I need to do something to my house, but I’m still not really sure what my style is. The living room especially needs something, since it’s where I spend most of my time. I need a proper desk, an armchair or two and paintings, maybe. The aquarium might look better as well, if there were actually water and fishes in it. And a stereo, I need a stereo. Maybe I ought to spend a little. New curtains for the kitchen and painting that section above the window, I think that might do the trick there. The kitchen can be the new red room, not the living room. I’d planned it to be blue when I moved, but I never got around to it, since my couch is red. But that’s no big deal. I don’t need a new couch, since it is one of those Ikea-ones the fabric of which you can change. Other than that I don’t really need to get rid of anything else. Yeah, I do think I will spend a little.
Yaaaaaawwwnnn, getting...more...tired, but I think I’ll try to watch the movie anyway.
I shouldn’t start to watch this either. It’s almost eight o’clock, so it’s time for sauna. Well, it was later than I thought. I’m back now, all fresh and clean. Going to sauna is always just as good and relaxing – well, figuratively speaking anyway: it can hardly be just as good and relaxing every single time. The sauna in our building isn’t the most comfortable in the world; it’s clean, it’s functional, but it has kind of clinical, cold feeling about it. Well, it’s still a sauna.
There’s a Jude Law –movie on TV tonight, but I don’t know if I am too tired to watch it. We did have the party yesterday and it was just after one o’clock before I was home; before I was ready for bed it was closer to two. I didn’t have anywhere to go this morning, but I couldn’t sleep anymore after nine. So I got up, discovered that there is something wrong with my toaster, that most of the tomatoes had already gone bad, read the newspaper and had to tell the cat to move just once. The kitchen table is almost the only place from where she can look out, so she is allowed there. It’s slightly annoying only when I’m trying to read the paper and she feels like she absolutely has to be petted. Or when she gets interested in the food.
We went to Ikea today – and were not the only ones there. The lines were still moderately short and I don’t think we stood there for more than 10-15 minutes. I didn’t get anything big: a small rug, light bulbs, batteries, that sort of stuff. I haven’t managed to come back from there with so little in a long time. My apartment is really starting to look like a model case for Ikea.
I think I need to do something to my house, but I’m still not really sure what my style is. The living room especially needs something, since it’s where I spend most of my time. I need a proper desk, an armchair or two and paintings, maybe. The aquarium might look better as well, if there were actually water and fishes in it. And a stereo, I need a stereo. Maybe I ought to spend a little. New curtains for the kitchen and painting that section above the window, I think that might do the trick there. The kitchen can be the new red room, not the living room. I’d planned it to be blue when I moved, but I never got around to it, since my couch is red. But that’s no big deal. I don’t need a new couch, since it is one of those Ikea-ones the fabric of which you can change. Other than that I don’t really need to get rid of anything else. Yeah, I do think I will spend a little.
Yaaaaaawwwnnn, getting...more...tired, but I think I’ll try to watch the movie anyway.
syyskuuta 30, 2005
work, work, work - and posting...
The blank page is trying to seduce me. Look at that, letters, sentences, ideas, thoughts, feelings… Can you tell that I’ve only slept for about five and a half hours last night? It was closer to midnight before I got to bed. I saw the documentary about Arwin Meiwes, the cannibal of Rotenburg – all sing together now “Heute treff ich einen Herrn, der hat mich zum Fressen gern…” – and I just had to finish my Japanese crossword puzzle before switching off the lights. And since our course in Enlightenment had been scheduled for 8 to 10, I really couldn’t sleep in.
I think we managed to establish that the ideas of the Enlightenment weren’t as novel as the general, public view would hold. The next time we will concentrate on the actual philosophers instead of the background. I should reread Rousseau and go find a copy of “The Spirit of the Laws” – I can’t believe I still haven’t read it.
I also got the student’s seminar papers on Roman Law this morning. Every single one returned in time; well, the last one, according to the honourable time-recorder of my mailbox, only thirty seconds before the end of the deadline, but still. Considerable progress. It also seems as if they have really put some effort on those papers. I haven’t read the papers yet, but the students have looked up extra literature and the lists of contents suggest that they have been quite thorough. Hopefully I’m still as pleasantly surprised after reading the papers.
I checked yesterday the pictures I took at the Archives in Vaasa last week. They worked out quite well and I am able to read the text. At least if I enlarge the pic enough; that 18th century handwriting can be a puzzle enough, so sometimes it is necessary to stare at the letters long and hard. I think I’ll add an example for you to look at, when I get home. I haven’t saved them to the work computer yet.
Today is going to be one of those days, which go by faster than you can click your tongue. In a couple of hours A & A are having a small farewell party – well, I don’t know if you can call it a farewell “party”; coffee and cake anyway – since they are both leaving us. People are always coming and going at the Institute. That’ll be fun, but I can only stay for about half an hour, since I have to go tell the new Master’s of Law about the Finnish Lawyer’s Association (Suomalainen Lakimiesyhdistys) at the event which the Association of Finnish Lawyers (Suomen Lakimiesliitto) – could the names be more similar? – always organises for the graduates. For some reason they are not having the event in their usual premises, but at the hotel next to the University. I wonder why. Are there too many people and this will be only one-time incident or have they decided that it is fancier or something and we’ll be there from now on? Well, one way or the other. It’s closer to me this way and as long as the food is as good....
I should start reading the seminar papers now – or about the long term effects of the enlightenment. Or maybe I should find out if we are going to have that party tonight or not: shrimps and schnapps. Hmmm, I like the sound of that... Shrimps..... Ok, I’ll stop now and do some work.
I think we managed to establish that the ideas of the Enlightenment weren’t as novel as the general, public view would hold. The next time we will concentrate on the actual philosophers instead of the background. I should reread Rousseau and go find a copy of “The Spirit of the Laws” – I can’t believe I still haven’t read it.
I also got the student’s seminar papers on Roman Law this morning. Every single one returned in time; well, the last one, according to the honourable time-recorder of my mailbox, only thirty seconds before the end of the deadline, but still. Considerable progress. It also seems as if they have really put some effort on those papers. I haven’t read the papers yet, but the students have looked up extra literature and the lists of contents suggest that they have been quite thorough. Hopefully I’m still as pleasantly surprised after reading the papers.
I checked yesterday the pictures I took at the Archives in Vaasa last week. They worked out quite well and I am able to read the text. At least if I enlarge the pic enough; that 18th century handwriting can be a puzzle enough, so sometimes it is necessary to stare at the letters long and hard. I think I’ll add an example for you to look at, when I get home. I haven’t saved them to the work computer yet.
Today is going to be one of those days, which go by faster than you can click your tongue. In a couple of hours A & A are having a small farewell party – well, I don’t know if you can call it a farewell “party”; coffee and cake anyway – since they are both leaving us. People are always coming and going at the Institute. That’ll be fun, but I can only stay for about half an hour, since I have to go tell the new Master’s of Law about the Finnish Lawyer’s Association (Suomalainen Lakimiesyhdistys) at the event which the Association of Finnish Lawyers (Suomen Lakimiesliitto) – could the names be more similar? – always organises for the graduates. For some reason they are not having the event in their usual premises, but at the hotel next to the University. I wonder why. Are there too many people and this will be only one-time incident or have they decided that it is fancier or something and we’ll be there from now on? Well, one way or the other. It’s closer to me this way and as long as the food is as good....
I should start reading the seminar papers now – or about the long term effects of the enlightenment. Or maybe I should find out if we are going to have that party tonight or not: shrimps and schnapps. Hmmm, I like the sound of that... Shrimps..... Ok, I’ll stop now and do some work.
syyskuuta 29, 2005
Enlightenment philosophers
I haven’t managed to write anything here in two weeks. Partly because I’m still not hundred percent convinced that this is a good idea; partly because I’ve been really busy preparing study courses. Now – I am happy to say – I know far more about the Roman institution of mancipatio and Rousseau’s thoughts on how a society ought to be ruled.
That’s what I should be doing right this minute. Finding out why Bertrand Russell thought that Rousseau wasn’t really a philosopher, what Cesare Beccaria said about torture and legal procedure and learning about “The Cultural Origins of the French Revolution”. But sometimes a girl just needs a break. It’s good for concentration and energy levels and all…that…sort…of…things… to go through the Rammstein-forums and write a word or two here once in awhile, isn’t it? I mean really? No? Okay, fine, it is procrastination, but it can still be good for you. And I really have been busy. I’ve gotten more done in four weeks than, well, since November last year.
The key to getting things done is....da-daa....motivation. MOTIVATION. It deserves to be written in big, bold letters. If you are motivated enough, you can get anything done. If you should not be motivated, then... Well, as they say “the years run like sand through your fingers”. Hmm, I wonder if someone actually said that.
There is still nothing in my mailbox. I’m supposed to be getting an e-mail from the sitemeter. Sorry people, but I like to know if someone is actually reading my ramblings. It won’t identify you personally anyway. Tested and tried; the empirical case to prove this is that the sitemeter happily claims you to be in Helsinki, even if you are actually sitting at your computer in Imatra. But anyway, if no-one does read this, I might as well stop and concentrate on writing other stuff. Of course the thing is that if I do wish people to read, I probably ought to tell them, that I am writing this diary in the first place.
- Really?
- Yeah, I think that might help the popularity of this place.
- Popularity?!!
- Oh, shut up.
And I am not sure I want to do that. I have no problem with people from the internet-community knowing the weirdest things about me, but telling “real people”, the ones I know/see/meet/talk to – you know the drill – do I want them to know me this well. I should. This could definitely be seen as one of those ways to get out of the old bad behavioural habits. And it’s not like I can’t choose what I write here. Freedom of will, and all that. Bugger, I really have to get back to the philosophers.
That’s what I should be doing right this minute. Finding out why Bertrand Russell thought that Rousseau wasn’t really a philosopher, what Cesare Beccaria said about torture and legal procedure and learning about “The Cultural Origins of the French Revolution”. But sometimes a girl just needs a break. It’s good for concentration and energy levels and all…that…sort…of…things… to go through the Rammstein-forums and write a word or two here once in awhile, isn’t it? I mean really? No? Okay, fine, it is procrastination, but it can still be good for you. And I really have been busy. I’ve gotten more done in four weeks than, well, since November last year.
The key to getting things done is....da-daa....motivation. MOTIVATION. It deserves to be written in big, bold letters. If you are motivated enough, you can get anything done. If you should not be motivated, then... Well, as they say “the years run like sand through your fingers”. Hmm, I wonder if someone actually said that.
There is still nothing in my mailbox. I’m supposed to be getting an e-mail from the sitemeter. Sorry people, but I like to know if someone is actually reading my ramblings. It won’t identify you personally anyway. Tested and tried; the empirical case to prove this is that the sitemeter happily claims you to be in Helsinki, even if you are actually sitting at your computer in Imatra. But anyway, if no-one does read this, I might as well stop and concentrate on writing other stuff. Of course the thing is that if I do wish people to read, I probably ought to tell them, that I am writing this diary in the first place.
- Really?
- Yeah, I think that might help the popularity of this place.
- Popularity?!!
- Oh, shut up.
And I am not sure I want to do that. I have no problem with people from the internet-community knowing the weirdest things about me, but telling “real people”, the ones I know/see/meet/talk to – you know the drill – do I want them to know me this well. I should. This could definitely be seen as one of those ways to get out of the old bad behavioural habits. And it’s not like I can’t choose what I write here. Freedom of will, and all that. Bugger, I really have to get back to the philosophers.
two weeks ago
This was actually written already on the 15th of September, but I am adding it now anyway.
I am watching the Simpsons and writing at the same time.
I think on paper. I need time to formulate thoughts and ideas, which is why I am so horrendously bad at conversations. By the time I come up with something sensible to say the birds have flown to south and returned. But on paper, sometimes, I can be smart; on occasion, even if rarely, even witty. I’m never witty in real life. But then again, if you are bothering to read, you probably know me, and then you knew that already. But that’s why I am writing anyway. Because I want to think and I don’t seem to be able to organise my thoughts without writing. Not today anyway. Here in Imatra I regress and become a teenager again.
It’s raining and I am so full of chocolate that I am starting to feel sick. Chocolate and cola – the perfect diet. And the cat is eating the flowers again. She must be hungry, but she really has no-one to blame but herself. She refuses to eat her food and it’s not like she hasn’t been given different kinds of choices. The pickiest animal I’ve ever met.
Ok, Simpsons over. One of the old political episodes: money doesn’t make you happy and you shouldn’t sacrifice the important things for social advancement. Yesterday it was Bush Sr. -bashing. Go, Simpsons. ;-) Now Will and Grace. Haven’t watched an episode in years and I’m starting to remember why. If you would have to make a character judgment about the Americans based on the comedies they make, you would think that they were all superficial bimbos with the emotional range of seven year olds. It’s all too…cheerful. I’m glad I actually know some Americans to prove that theory wrong.
More cola. We’re all living in Amerika, coca-cola, wonderbra. I love Rammstein.
I don’t like Grace’s coat. It’s too fancy. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve started to dislike the way some people are obsessed with the way they look like. I can hardly watch some of the American reality shows; the worst thing is that it is slowly spreading. If Americans wish to value superficial bimboism, what is it to me? But now they are starting to do it here too.
The disturbing ad for the Love and Anarchy -festival is on again: the little boy butchering the sun flowers. It’s beautifully shot, but it’s seriously disturbing, which of course is the point.
Moving on. Bloody hell. I thought it was time for Louis Theroux already, but it’s the 3rd rock from the sun. Re-runs. There was a reference to the show in some movie earlier last week: someone didn’t realise that the 3rd rock from the sun referred to Earth.
I really am a slow writer. Which is hardly surprising, considering what I said about needing time to formulate thoughts. I’m also watching stupid shows at the same time, so maybe that’s something of an excuse.
Hmm, I don’t know the punctuation rules in English. That’s one thing they never taught us in school. “They’re not the same as in Finnish”, “You don’t really need to know”. And therefore I do not know the punctuation rules in English. Hardly necessary either, but does make you look like a dimwit.
I’ve never watched Louis Theroux before. I don’t have Sub-TV at home. I bought the digi-box, but I can’t make it to work. And usually I’m good with that kind of stuff.
This is supposed to be the last episode. About neo-Nazis in America. That fascinates me. How some people can hate others based on their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or some other similar attribute? I am not quite sure what the angle here is. Finding out what Nazis really look like? A documentary about Tom Metzger, he says. To find out how some people can really think like that, then? They look so normal and yet their world-view is so twisted by hatred. This documentary doesn’t really explain though, why they feel what they feel. And they are so strong in their beliefs, so very certain that they have discovered some truth that the others can’t see. Hah, it’s like religion. This brainwashing of eleven year olds is truly disturbing. How are they going to ever have a chance to grow up normal, when they are being fed these ideas from such a young age? Will they be capable of independent thought when they leave home?
Well, what did that leave us with? Feeling sorry for two pretty little girls, who will probably grow up hopelessly indoctrinated, and laughing at Tom Metzger, who seems genuinely rather pathetic. It also left one with the feeling that the skinhead / neo-Nazi –movement in America isn’t very influential or organised. That is a good thing of course, but it can lead to belittling the problem and not seeing the need to acknowledge it or deal with it. The Americans sometimes seem to feel that they don’t really have a problem with neo-Nazis; that it is something that only the Europeans suffer from.
I am watching the Simpsons and writing at the same time.
I think on paper. I need time to formulate thoughts and ideas, which is why I am so horrendously bad at conversations. By the time I come up with something sensible to say the birds have flown to south and returned. But on paper, sometimes, I can be smart; on occasion, even if rarely, even witty. I’m never witty in real life. But then again, if you are bothering to read, you probably know me, and then you knew that already. But that’s why I am writing anyway. Because I want to think and I don’t seem to be able to organise my thoughts without writing. Not today anyway. Here in Imatra I regress and become a teenager again.
It’s raining and I am so full of chocolate that I am starting to feel sick. Chocolate and cola – the perfect diet. And the cat is eating the flowers again. She must be hungry, but she really has no-one to blame but herself. She refuses to eat her food and it’s not like she hasn’t been given different kinds of choices. The pickiest animal I’ve ever met.
Ok, Simpsons over. One of the old political episodes: money doesn’t make you happy and you shouldn’t sacrifice the important things for social advancement. Yesterday it was Bush Sr. -bashing. Go, Simpsons. ;-) Now Will and Grace. Haven’t watched an episode in years and I’m starting to remember why. If you would have to make a character judgment about the Americans based on the comedies they make, you would think that they were all superficial bimbos with the emotional range of seven year olds. It’s all too…cheerful. I’m glad I actually know some Americans to prove that theory wrong.
More cola. We’re all living in Amerika, coca-cola, wonderbra. I love Rammstein.
I don’t like Grace’s coat. It’s too fancy. I’ve noticed that lately I’ve started to dislike the way some people are obsessed with the way they look like. I can hardly watch some of the American reality shows; the worst thing is that it is slowly spreading. If Americans wish to value superficial bimboism, what is it to me? But now they are starting to do it here too.
The disturbing ad for the Love and Anarchy -festival is on again: the little boy butchering the sun flowers. It’s beautifully shot, but it’s seriously disturbing, which of course is the point.
Moving on. Bloody hell. I thought it was time for Louis Theroux already, but it’s the 3rd rock from the sun. Re-runs. There was a reference to the show in some movie earlier last week: someone didn’t realise that the 3rd rock from the sun referred to Earth.
I really am a slow writer. Which is hardly surprising, considering what I said about needing time to formulate thoughts. I’m also watching stupid shows at the same time, so maybe that’s something of an excuse.
Hmm, I don’t know the punctuation rules in English. That’s one thing they never taught us in school. “They’re not the same as in Finnish”, “You don’t really need to know”. And therefore I do not know the punctuation rules in English. Hardly necessary either, but does make you look like a dimwit.
I’ve never watched Louis Theroux before. I don’t have Sub-TV at home. I bought the digi-box, but I can’t make it to work. And usually I’m good with that kind of stuff.
This is supposed to be the last episode. About neo-Nazis in America. That fascinates me. How some people can hate others based on their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or some other similar attribute? I am not quite sure what the angle here is. Finding out what Nazis really look like? A documentary about Tom Metzger, he says. To find out how some people can really think like that, then? They look so normal and yet their world-view is so twisted by hatred. This documentary doesn’t really explain though, why they feel what they feel. And they are so strong in their beliefs, so very certain that they have discovered some truth that the others can’t see. Hah, it’s like religion. This brainwashing of eleven year olds is truly disturbing. How are they going to ever have a chance to grow up normal, when they are being fed these ideas from such a young age? Will they be capable of independent thought when they leave home?
Well, what did that leave us with? Feeling sorry for two pretty little girls, who will probably grow up hopelessly indoctrinated, and laughing at Tom Metzger, who seems genuinely rather pathetic. It also left one with the feeling that the skinhead / neo-Nazi –movement in America isn’t very influential or organised. That is a good thing of course, but it can lead to belittling the problem and not seeing the need to acknowledge it or deal with it. The Americans sometimes seem to feel that they don’t really have a problem with neo-Nazis; that it is something that only the Europeans suffer from.
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